Now people know what kinda jobs I have had. In order I have cleaned at a hospital, read scripts, worked at two pet stores, moved dead bodies at a hospital, a mailroom, reality show transcribing, and assistant editor for shows. Each of these have their good and bad sides. I mean, no one goes to work at a porn shop happy or to move corpses chipper.
Best Jobs
Software Engineer, Human Resources Manager, Online Advertising Manager, Computer Systems Analyst are some of the jobs listed. And this bothers me because these are things that will be completely worthless if the “Dirt People” take over. I seriously think like this by the way. Like, if some disaster happened I’m not gonna run around shouting “Jesus, where is the online advertising manager?! We need some help!”
I understand that in this day and age these types of jobs are on the rise and all that stuff. But I value my ability to safely transport people who are hurt or ones that have died with minimal effort far more than anything I can do on a computer. Hell, I write and draw so I could give you great details about what happened when the aliens arrived or whatnot.
One thing you will notice about these jobs is that they have minimal person to person contact. Maybe that’s why they’re so good. God knows that we all secretly hate one another and would rather talk through computers or cell phones. Think about that the next time someone calls me anti-social.
Worst Jobs
Lumberjack, Dairy Farmer, Enlisted Military Soldier, Waiter/Waitress, Meter Reader are some of the worst jobs listed. Call me strange but some of these jobs seem fun. Not being a soldier. I’ve tried to do that dance before. But a meter maid? You get to drive around all day being a dick! Wait. That doesn’t sound fun at all.
Some of these jobs are just underappreciated. Like the dairy farmer and lumberjack. Its one of those things I know my ass would never be able too do. I could attempt to cut a tree down. It would likely hurt anyone nearby but it’d come down. As for a dairy farmer, as much as I love milk and every dairy product I’ve never milked a cow nor would I know how. My milking experience comes from watching that one episode of I Love Lucy and The Three Stooges.
As for being a waiter…meh. I know that people have done it and talk about how hard it is and how shit the pay is, but I’ve had so many shitty service experiences that I now act like Mr. Pink in Reservoir Dogs. Its also one job that no matter what I will not do. I cant work around food. That bit me in the ass years ago when I had to help the kitchen in the mailroom. Boy, did that bite me in the ass…
Most Stressful Jobs
Enlisted Soldier, Firefighter, Airline Pilot, Police Officer, Taxi Driver are some of the most stressful jobs listed. These I totally see why they are stressful. All of them are dangerous and the one thing you can be sure about during your shift is that your life will likely be in danger. Fuck that.
I know that I couldn’t be a cop because within a week I’d be like Denzel Washington in Training Day. I would abuse the shit out of that power. And if I was a fireman I know that I could never be in a committed relationship because those guys see more ass than a proctologist.
Some of my jobs have been stressful but that’s mostly because other people have made it stressful. The jobs themselves were sometimes difficult but nothing that practice didn’t fix. So the next time you head to work (or not because this economy is in the shitter) just think at least you don’t have to work in a porn shop.
2 comments:
The 'best' jobs list looks like they were picked just because of high earnings. That doesn't make a job good necessarily (although obviously it helps). But I bet if the 'best' jobs were based on job satisfaction, you'd have a whole other list.
As for stressful jobs, people always talk like stress is bad. It can depend on the type of stress, I think. A firefighter might be totally temperamentally suited to putting himself in danger and being responsible for people's lives, but could be stressed out beyond belief in a job where they're doing telesales or customer service. I know what kind of stress I can and can't handle now and so I can avoid jobs and sectors that some people are brilliant at but that I would crash and burn in.
Worst jobs? I've waitressed and cleaned hotel rooms, and they're better jobs than some of the 'professional' jobs I've done. I'd rather clean toilets than be a software engineer, frankly. Being a chambermaid was one of my favourite jobs because once it was done well and thoroughly, I could take pride in a job well done and completely switch off at the end of my shift. It was hard work but the most stress-free and satisfying job ever. That counts for a lot in my book.
I still say to this day that the mail room was my all time favorite job. I didn't bring that job home. It was busy, fast, and I could see the difference I made when the shift was done.
I cleaned at the hospital the first time and it just felt like it was never done!
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