Some dude is too fat for execution. I heard about this one other time when some guy was super fat and he was supposed to be hanged and they were like “His head will detach from his fat body!” I don’t recall what ended up happening. Maybe they hung him by his ankles. Whatever. This guy Ronald Post who was sentenced to death in Ohio 29 years ago for shooting and killing a hotel clerk is too huge for lethal injection. So when I was running around watching He-Man he was killing folks. Yes, I know I was watching He-Man last week. Shut up.
His lawyers say that it would cause this man of 480 motherfucking pounds “…serious physical and psychological pain.” Know what would fix that? Death. Just push him down some stairs. He was supposed to be killed by lethal injection next year but they are having trouble finding a vein in his fat body. I know a lot of people out there hate the death penalty and have strong arguments against it. But then someone like me comes along with a sensibility that borders on Megatron’s and is two bad days away from anarchy. “But there are innocent people on death row!” you shout to which I reply “Stop yelling at me!”
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| Step 4. is rubber cement. |
Looking at that chart and all the stuff that is involved in executions makes my taint itch. Its just too much to just kill someone who is a killer. I almost died eating an ice cube in high school. Frozen water, not the rapper. It doesn’t involve multiple injections and heart monitoring and shit. Some people are saying he should be shot and I disagree. Guns are loud and there’s already too much violence in the world. So yeah. Kill him already!
