"Teenage Dirtbag" Part 6

Click here for parts 1 – 5.

After Camaro dragged Lord's body into the bathtub containing sodium hydroxide with a small, flat heating unit set to 270 degrees underneath he knew he had a few hours until the body dissolved so he went into the living room and sat on the couch next to his aunt Stacy. She watched him sit down and sighed. He nudged her cigarettes closer.

“Thanks” she said.

“You are welcome” he replied.

“No” she said. “Not just for this. For handling Lord. Normally I would've done it but since I used to date the guy it makes it a bit awkward. That son of a bitch. I can't believe he tried to kill us. Something is really wrong. We need to find out who hired him and kill them.”

“How do you suggest we begin?” Camaro asked. He slid the ashtray towards Stacy before she could flick the ashes on the floor.

“Reverse track the asshole” she said. “How good are your computer skills?”

“Very good” he said.

“Okay then” Stacy said and took a long drag from her cigarette, sending her into a coughing fit. “Jesus. That was a good one. Anyway, I need you to get every number from Lord's phone. Names, addresses, whatever you can find. Obviously our services are no longer needed.” Stacy paused and waited for a reaction from Camaro. After getting none she continued. “When we're finished we gotta move. You okay with that?”

“Yes” he said.

“Good” she said as she bit her bottom lip.

"Teenage Dirtbag" Part 5

Part 1

Part 2 

Part 3 

Part 4 

Camaro was looking out of his bedroom window with the curtains shut at the new neighbors son. From some research online he found out that his name was Antonio E. Bagram, age 16. His parents were from Guatemala and Pakistan. He had no siblings other than a younger sister that had passed away when he was 10 years old. They had previously lived in Virginia, Roswell, and Los Angeles. Antonio has trained in krav maga, judo, and various forms of martial arts.

Just as Antonio was about to enter his home he stopped just short of the entrance, turned, and waved at Camaro’s direction. Camaro threw his curtain open and stared. Antonio shrugged and headed inside, closing the door. Aunt Stacy burst into his bedroom, obviously upset. She sat at the end of her bed for a few moments before letting out a frustrated growl.

“Shit!” she shouted.

“Are you out of cigarettes?” Camaro asked. Stacy looked at Camaro, patted her pocket, and lowered her head again.

“The mission is cancelled” she replied.

"Teenage Dirtbag" Part 4

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Aunt Stacy sat at the kitchen table pouring over the morning paper as her cigarettes heat neared her fingertips. The fight involving Camaro and four other students had made the crime blotter and second page of the paper. Stacy sighed heavily as she noticed that the unfiltered cigarette had been singeing her finger for at least the last minute. “Goddammit” she muttered and not being near an ashtray dropped the butt to the floor and mashed it out with her bare feet. A moment later an ashtray was placed in front of her. “Thanks” she said knowing it was Camaro up for his morning run. “How are you handling your time off?”

“It is not time off” he replied. “I was suspended for defending myself.” Camaro snatched a napkin off the counter and simultaneously picked up and wiped the floor clean where the cigarette butt landed.

“Says here that you snapped” Stacy said, placing the paper on the table. “That you are the quiet type. Keeping to yourself. Not participating in school activities.”

"Teenage Dirtbag" Part 3

Part 1

Part 2

Camaro stood on the front porch watching as the new neighbors son left home carrying a large gym bag. He made another mental note to research him. No one could blame him for lagging in his checking of the new guy. Between the four men he had killed the previous week and the school shooting he needed to complete he had been busy. He spent the school day dodging counselors regarding the four burned bodies found at his school and the school shootings.

He had almost made it through the day when Todd Stevens, his “girlfriend” Harriet’s ex boyfriend decided to have some fun.

Camaro was standing on the football field near the fifty yard line measuring the distance between his present location and the nearest fence in preparation for his next mission. Suddenly, with the speed of a cheetah, Todd pounced on Camaro. Rolling with the momentum, Camaro grabbed Todd’s left arm, flipped him over his hip, and slammed him to the ground. Camaro then twisted Todd’s wrist, planted his foot in his armpit, and yanked almost as hard as he could.

"Teenage Dirtbag" Part 2

Camaro rarely read newspapers or watched the news on television. It would have been redundant seeing as how his aunt Stacy would give him full detailed recaps of what he already knew first hand. So as the sun shone through the kitchen curtains he stirred his tea and slowly ate his oatmeal (plain, no sugar no fruit) as Stacy read aloud.

“’Student’s were shocked to arrive to school today’” she began. “’Instead of the daily grind of homework, cramming for tests, and finding a date for prom they were greeted with smoldering ash and dozens of questions.’ Who writes this kind of garbage? ‘One badly shaken student, Harriet Thornburg, was quoted as saying, ‘This is the worst day of my life!’” Stacy laughed until she started coughing. She looked over at Camaro who stared at her unblinking. “Isn’t Harriet the girl you’re dating?”

“I have seen her on multiple occasions outside of school, yes” Camaro replied. Stacy waved her hand at him in a “Continue…” motion. “Elaboration is not necessary.” Stacy sighed.

“You’re no fun” she said as she placed the newspaper on the table and ruffled his hair. “How did the mission go?”

"Teenage Dirtbag" Part 1

Camaro stared from the front porch at the new neighbors moving in across the street. They appeared to have a son around his age. He made a mental note to do some research on him later. You could never be too careful he thought to himself. That was not paranoia speaking. That was experience. Camaro had far more experience than someone at the age of 17 should. 

His cell phone rang causing him to tense slightly. He knew it would be his on again off again girlfriend Harriet. “What an unattractive name” he whispered to himself before answering before she could leave a long message he knew he had no intention of listening to later. Harriet knew this and would quiz him later on what she had said. “Hello.”

“Geez, pretend you’re happy to hear from me!” Harriet shouted from somewhere noisy. “You and I need to have a talk.” Camaro never knew his parents but he figured that this is the type of things they told their children. “Maro, are you there?” 

Camaro hated his name. He hated it even more when it was shortened to sound like the soft tissue that occupied the interior of the skeletal system. Marrow. Camaro. One extra syllable did not seem that hard to say. He never called her “Harry” instead of Harriet. Camaro realized that several seconds had passed since she spoke and had to reply. 

“Talk about what?” he asked. Camaro rarely spoke which seemed to get him in more trouble than not. He had a tendency to respond to rhetorical questions literally. If you asked him “Is it hot enough for you?” he would in great detail let you know that, yes, it was indeed hot but not hot enough to cause him any discomfort. 

“I like your voice” Harriet replied completely ignoring his question. He needed to get off the phone before he went over his minutes. Camaro had a very indistinguishable accent. It was neither foreign nor domestic. It just…was. “I think we need some time apart.” Harriet waited for Camaro to respond. She had been with him for six months. When she first noticed him sitting near the track watching others running she immediately knew she had to have him. Yes, she was already dating Todd Stevens but that was getting her nowhere. Being seen with someone that looked like Camaro would for sure rocket her up the social ladder. 

She liked that Camaro seemed mysterious. All of the girls wanted him but were afraid to approach. All of the guys either feared or hated him. There were rumors that he had been expelled from his last school for breaking a teachers arm but Harriet didn’t believe that. She’d never even seen him angry even when they were crossing the street and someone tapped him while they were walking with their bumper. It didn’t knock them over but it did hurt. A large guy jumped from the vehicle and began shouting at them. Harriet was about to start screaming when Camaro stepped forward and stared the guy down. He ran back to his car and peeled off. 

Harriet thought that was hot. Little did she know that later that same evening Camaro had found the man and…let’s just say that he’ll never have to worry about finding a parking spot ever again. 

“Time apart would be good” Camaro said into the phone and hung up. He could smell the gun oil before he felt the muzzle pressed against the back of his neck. He sighed and turned to face his aunt Stacy. “Good afternoon. Glad to see you decided to wake up. When is dinner?”

“Whenever you pick it up” she said while lighting a cigarette. “Girl trouble again?” she asked. Camaro slid past her and into the small living room. “Listen, Camaro” she began. “I know you want to be normal but you‘re-”

“-‘not like other kids.‘ I’ve heard this a thousand times” he finished. “I have no desire to be like everyone else.”

“You do know that the way you behave attracts women, right?” Camaro raised his eyebrow skeptically at his aunt. “Silent, mysterious, and handsome. You’re what grown women write about to live out their pedophiliac fantasies towards young men. Keep it up and you’ll be a father before graduation.” Stacy paused and inhaled her cigarette before thumping the ash on the porch. Camaro sighed, walked past her again, grabbed a broom, and swept it down the steps. “Are you a virgin?”

“We’re not having this conversation.” Camaro leapt onto the banister, pulled himself up to the slanted roof, and made his way to his bedroom window. He heard his aunt laugh and close the front door. A few minutes later there was a knock at the door. “Yes?” Stacy cracked the door open an inch.

“Get some rest” she said. “I’ve already let the school know you wont be in tomorrow. Big job tonight. Don’t forget to oil your guns.”

“Have I ever forgotten to oil my guns?” he asked. Stacy closed the door and Camaro pulled his phone from his pocket, switched it off, and in moments fell into a deep sleep.