I don't want to really travel. I live
in a great state where I can experience any new form of weather by
heading in a direction for an hour. I also know what to expect from
animals. The tend to stay where they should. Yeah, once in a while a
mountain lion will snatch a pet up or a bear will stroll through
Sylmar, but for the most part they know their place. But not in
Bangkok. This 38 year old guy named Attaporn Boonmakchuay was using a
squat toilet (another reason why I won't travel) when suddenly his
dick was attacked. No, not by an overly excited wife or a jealous
girlfriend. But by a 10 foot goddamn python!
He says that he fought to remove the
python from his dick for thirty minutes with the help of his wife and
a neighbor. I don't even have a friend that I am close enough to
where I'd help do this. Let me be specific. A male friend. I'd yank a
snake off a female friends vajayjay in the hopes of putting another
one in. Yeah. I'm single. His wife eventually tied a rope around the
python while Attaporn (whose name sounds like what I say when I
finish watching a good clip on Pornhub) pried the jaws from his dick
and promptly passed right the fuck out.
