Whatever happened to just telling a
punkass kid “No”? The new Finding Dory movie is coming out and pet
stores and people that care about fish in general are worried about a
bunch of parents that are controlled by their children will show up
in droves buying these expensive and hard to take care of fish
because they can't tell their kids to stop being stupid and go clean
their room because it smells like fruit and ass and the laundry hamper looks brand new because clothes are never put in it. Years ago this same thing happened with clown fish after
Finding Nemo came out. Same with turtles after Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Dory is based off of a fish known as a blue
tang. I knew nothing of this type of fish and had to find some basic
information. Turns out that the blue tang fish ain't nothing to fuck with. I just made that up and if you hear it anywhere else you'll think of me. You're welcome.
These are known as surgeon fish and are
important to reef control. They live in spots between six and 131
feet deep which is a bit different than that shitty little tank you
have in your living room. They live in waters all the way from New
York to Brazil and can live between right to 20 years. Read that
again. That is a long ass time to have something that is gonna just
swim in circles watching you sleep and wondering why its in this tank
watching you grow up from a spoiled brat to a heathen that rubs its
genitals against any hard surface before forgetting to feed it for a
few days because life happened. Oh, and they get about a foot long. I
would never have thought that. I would have guessed maybe five inches
tops. Like dicks.
