Dante's Ugly Church Shirt

Years ago my friend Ford invited me to go to church with him and his mom. I never went to church regularly but still decided to go. I asked my mother to get me a “church shirt.” Everyone knows what a damn church shirt is. It’s a very dressy type of shirt that you’d never wear anywhere but church. If you did people would look at you and say “Wow. That guy is totally wearing a church shirt outside.”

So the night before I go to church my mother shows me the shirt she got me. I shit you not this was one of the ugliest shirts I’ve ever seen in my life. Till, like, now! It was long sleeved, huge, and covered in fruit. Yes. Fruit. All over the shirt.