Dante's Ugly Church Shirt

Years ago my friend Ford invited me to go to church with him and his mom. I never went to church regularly but still decided to go. I asked my mother to get me a “church shirt.” Everyone knows what a damn church shirt is. It’s a very dressy type of shirt that you’d never wear anywhere but church. If you did people would look at you and say “Wow. That guy is totally wearing a church shirt outside.”

So the night before I go to church my mother shows me the shirt she got me. I shit you not this was one of the ugliest shirts I’ve ever seen in my life. Till, like, now! It was long sleeved, huge, and covered in fruit. Yes. Fruit. All over the shirt.

What Easter Means To Dante

Once a year my parents would drag my heathen ass to church. I would have to wear nice clothes, be bored out of my mind, and fall asleep while a lot of loud Black people sang songs I didn’t understand. In the modern world its known as Easter. And what does Easter mean?

“Christians believe, according to Scripture, that Jesus came back to life, or was raised from the dead, three days after his death on the cross. As part of the Easter season, the death of Jesus Christ by crucifixion is commemorated on Good Friday, always the Friday just before Easter. Through his death, burial, and resurrection, Jesus paid the penalty for sin, thus purchasing for all who believe in him, eternal life in Christ Jesus.”

Easter 2009 Was Super Fine

So Easter kicked ass. Yeah, I know how weird that sentence sounds. I really enjoyed the holiday. Easter has tended to be a left out holiday on my part. The only one that really stands out was one years ago where I ripped my ugly ass shirt on a bathroom stall and had to hold my shirt closed the rest of the day. I think this is the underlying reason I always were an undershirt.

I met my lady at The Forum for their big Easter celebration. It felt good since we hadn’t been in the huge church in a few months. Maybe four months. I felt good and couldn’t stop looking at how huge the crowd was. But something even stronger than God was calling me. Hunger!

I’m getting ahead of myself. Me and my lady made two pineapple upside down cakes! This was yesterday the day before Easter. I was afraid that I would mess these up since I have never made them before. I was expecting to make a hot mess.

We headed to Ralph’s and got all the magical ingredients needed. They were very simple. Cherries, butter, brown sugar, cake mix, and pineapples. Seems easy so far. We put everything the pans and arraigned the pineapples to look nice and pretty.

Next my lady made the cake batter. At the same time we were making dinner and dessert. We had cheese ravioli with meat sauce, garlic bread, and cherry Jell-O with Sprite. Oh, it was tasty!

The cakes were done. We removed them from the over and flipped it upside down (get it?) and let it cool off. The end result was great! It looked like an actual pineapple upside down cake! I wasn’t sure what I was expecting it to look like but I just figured I would find some way to mess it up. We made two awesome “looking” cakes that we couldn’t taste until Easter dinner.

Okay, back to Easter. So after church we headed to my lady’s place. I stared at her mean cat and then chatted with her dad for a bit. He is so cool. Afterwards we head to her aunts place for lunch. Everyone is there and we have fun talking. I’m not that used to this with my family so its cool. We talk about everything from religion, Chris Brown, pirates, basketball, and Guyana.

Later we all sat around and birthday speeches were given. Everyone would tell folks what they thought about and wished for them for their birthday. Everyone had nothing but nice things to say about me and it made my heart smile. I felt like the Grinch when he changed. We had some awesome food from ham, plantains, chicken, rice, macaroni, and potato salad topped off with peach cobbler, our cake, and home made strawberry ice cream. Oh, and some home made ginger beer! My stomach was quite pleased.

I called my parents to see if they were doing anything still. My mother didn’t answer so I was like “Oh, well…” while cheering on the inside. Me and my lady headed to the 99 Cent store and grabbed a bunch of chips after a jones started because she bought some Flaming Hot Cheetoos earlier in the day. My mother called and said almost everyone was gone except for a couple people I don’t really care for. We came back to my place, rested, and split. I got to talk to my sisters Cam and Heidi for a bit tonight, too. How much love can one man stand?!

As the great rapper Ice Cube once said: “Today was a good day.”

Rockets.

Books, Bunnies, Baskets, and BFF's

Once again I went with my best friend/sister from a different mister, Cam, to her job at the library. It was exhausting but fun. The only reason it was exhausting was because I was hungry, sleepy, and went to sleep with too much stuff on my mind. No, not bad things. Just general excitement about the day and work opportunities.

I got to her place pretty fast but not as early as last time. Last time, like I mentioned before, I got there in ten minutes and an hour too early. This time I got there closer to 8am and we left.
Funny how it was supposed to rain all day today. Yeah, so while we’re driving to work with the bright ass California sun in our eyes we damned the weathermen in L.A that are never right. I told her that we should have about sixteen people with webcams that aim out their windows in various points in the city and say, “This is what its like outside!” It would save on the money they waste on these charlatans. We get to her job and chill for a bit.

I helped out all day by stuffing candy into eggs and stuffing baskets. We did this for hours with a co-workers son that rarely talks but couldn’t stop talking around me. Even his mom said to me, “I don’t know what you’re doing but that’s the most I’ve ever heard him talk! I was like ‘Is that him?!’” I have that effect on people.
During the day I had a phone interview for an awesome sounding job nearby. I called and…she wasn’t there. I call back later and she says that its busy and forgot that she even had an interview to conduct. This is me thanking God this wasn’t an in person interview as I would’ve wasted my day. I call the staffing place to let this lady know that I couldn’t get the interview done but I get put on hold for too long. I call the interviewer again and she is gone for the day. Really?

We also made this huge poster for Easter. I made some cotton bunnies and these kids and Cam did the rainbows and skies. I don’t take credit for the ginormous rabbit at the end. That was all some other kids. It was fun seeing kids interested in arts and doing things with their hands that don’t involved sitting in front of a screen all day or playing video games.

After more hours of working on the baskets we are done for the day. We take off and discuss the career of Lenny Kravitz. Is he really talented or were we all fooled by his good looks? Can he actually play guitar? Did cutting his dreads cut his success short? There was some more in there about sexbots and Oedipal love. I had a good day and will head to the library once again tomorrow. Weird not staying up until 3am and waking up at 6am. I miss being useful and hanging with her at her job helps make me feel good. Thanks, sis.

Rockets.