What is the point of me writing all this stuff? Seriously, its just to get my damn head clear and explain to people how I see this stuff. One thing I am very curious about is what would change about my friendships if I decided to not get saved. My relationship, I know would be altered completely. But my friends? They aren’t going anywhere. And if they did I would question how much of a friend I was to them in the first place.
To not talk to Dante, me, because I’m not saved? That’s such an odd thought for me to ponder. What would change about me if I were saved? What would I still be allowed to do? I write some really strange shit. Like, vampires, hit men, killers, and all kinds of stuff. Would that be okay still? Would saved Dante be allowed to write such things in good conscious? How about my Living Room Wrestling stuff? My movies? Hell, my Rosscast! Would I be able to talk about the stuff I do?!
This isn’t a list of things I would be forbidden to do but as a true ass Christian would it be cool in God’s eyes for me to do some of the stuff I do? I try and look at life like going to the post office or DMV. We all are in this crappy situation; let’s try and enjoy it or just get through it without hurting one another. I haven’t killed anyone. No raping going on. No drug using. I stay out of trouble, don’t you agree? This is for my friends and family that may read this.
What kinda man do you think Dante Ross is?
And for listeners of my Rosscast, from my shows what do you think of me? Do I come across as someone that would be sent to Hell? There is no wrong answer. Don’t worry about offending me. I know what I believe and what I believe is this:
I have tried my best to be a good man. Not a good Christian, Muslim, or whatever man. Just a regular ass good man. I wont screw you over and if you’re a good friend to me I will be a good friend to you. I wont bring drama into your life and will help you I any way I can. If you need me to talk, write, draw, or just help you out with stuff, just ask me and I will try my best to do a good job.
There are some people I have known half my life or more who believe I am good. There are people that I only speak to on facebook that think I’m funny. I just try to be okay. That’s all I ask of myself. To be good to folks out there and hope they do the same or close to it. I don’t wanna change any of my friends. Believe in what you wanna believe. Worship who you want or don’t. Pray to whoever you’re comfortable with praying to. I wont like you any more or any less because of who you chose.
I accept all of you and any of the bad that comes with you. Some of you have been beaten, abused, raped, and generally treated like shit. Some of you have led a life where you’ve never had to ball your fists and defend yourself. Some of you grew up with a family that loved and supported you no matter what. Some have families that disowned them for various reasons. Some of you are happy with how often we talk or hang out and wouldn’t change a thing about it. Some of you would. Either way I either like or love you and that’s why you’re in my life.
I have tried to surround myself with people that like me because I am me. There’s no bullshit going on. I will say what’s on my mind (not all of it because some things are better left unsaid). My friends don’t want anything more for me than for me to be happy and successful. That’s it.
Do they want me to go to Hell? I hope not and I don’t think so. Plus, I don’t think there’s a circle of Hell that could contain me. Yes, I’m that stubborn. I have been heading through my life wondering about God, even when I hated the fact that there might be one that was just ignoring all the suffering in the world. This isn’t new. This is just the first time I have spent an amount of time discussing it with the rest of you in this manner. I hope you all can discuss this with either me or your friends.
Rockets.
I have always asked why God didn’t do more in our lives. There are people that look at the sun in the morning and thank God for a new day to live. Then they turn around and get pissed at all the stuff they have to do for the rest of the day. Sometimes it seems to me that belief is very fleeting or something clung to at times of extreme grief or extreme joy. Why isn’t God always on our minds?
This is how I view God right now. Yes, I believe that there is a God. But I believe that God has let His children run wild for too long. We’re God’s latchkey kids. We were created, He sent his kid down to die for all or jacked up ass mistakes that we have made and will make, and then…nothing. We’re left to believe that one day our dad is coming home but so far we’ve been allowed to do what we want. Some of us choose to do bad and some don’t.
We have a group of kids saying “Ooh, wait till daddy gets home!” Another group saying “Daddy ain’t ever coming home, I can do what I want!” And another saying “Daddy never existed. Oh well.” I’m more in the group of “If daddy existed he would do something about this.” Essentially the house is on fire and daddy doesn’t seem to notice. The fire alarm is going off, everyone is trying to run out the house but the windows are shut and the doors are bolted, yet daddy is sleeping.
What will it take for God to finally show up if He ever will? Millions being slaughtered by madmen? Millions being raped? Death camps? People, all human, being killed and harassed because their skin, their fucking skin, is a different color? People persecuted because they are gay? Don’t even get me started on the gay topic. Gotta love how people say God doesn’t make mistakes…except when it comes to the queers. All this occurs daily yet God remains silent.
I keep using my late brother Kevin as an example of God making a mistake. Everyone knows I love my brother. One of the coolest guys I have ever met. Died of a heart attack at 32. Why? Was it because God had different plans? God wanted him? Fuck that. I want my brother. God has millions of people that are willing to die this instant to be with Him. Why take one of the few people on this Godforsaken planet from me? Yes, I am aware of how selfish this sounds. But whenever I look outside and see the same crack heads, same bums, same assholes, same useless as people who are still allowed to walk the planet I get mad. Pedophiles, criminals, crooks, rapists, murderers. Still allowed to walk around freely. Oh, but don’t worry. One day they will be judged.
Fuck that.
I want judgment now. I want to see these people pay for their crimes. Even those that do crime and wrong in God’s name. Punishment now, not after they have enjoyed a long life of wrongness. Where is God to take care of these people? I want a more proactive God in the world. I want wrong handled quickly and effectively. I want God to be like, “Did you just try and rape that child?!” Zap! Why isn’t this happening? We shouldn’t have to suffer through so much bad to get somewhere good. I don’t have to get an arm cut off to appreciate the fact I have two of them. I don’t have to suffer to enjoy the good things in life.
I want to know where God is. Some people die cursing God. Some don’t. If I die without getting saved what will happen to me? Will I burn in Hell? Will I get into Heaven because I haven’t dicked anyone over? Or will I wander through some kinda oblivion where there’s no up, down, left, or right? Or will there just be complete nothing that I wont even experience because there really is nothing after you die?
“A place where people realize what they’ve done to others; where they face every detail of it, and the realize every particle of it, so they would never, never do the same thing again; a place where souls are reformed, literally by knowledge of what they’ve done wrong and how they could have avoided it, and what they should have done…when they can forgive not only God for this big mess, but themselves for their own failures, their own horrible angry reactions, their own spite and meanness, when they love everyone totally in complete forgiveness, then they would be worthy of Heaven. Hell would have to be where they see the consequences of their actions, but with a full merciful comprehension of how little they themselves knew.” - Lestat “Memnoch the Devil
Is it wrong that the closest view religiously as to how I believe Hell should be run comes from who can be called a Pagan female author of erotic vampire tales feminine vampire character? Perhaps. But that sentence fits so perfectly for me in what I feel Hell should be like. Imagine a spiritual rehab.
I have been having quite a bit of religious conversations lately. One topic was whether or not someone that was saved should marry someone that wasn’t. I say that they should. I have spoken to people that are atheist, agnostic, Christian, and Catholic about this. I have gotten many different responses such as, “Yeah, as long as they love each other that’s all that should matter.” “No, they shouldn’t because there could be problems down the road.” “It don’t matter what two people are.”
I really do believe that it doesn’t matter what religion people follow as long as they’re good people. I don’t believe that being saved makes you a good person. I don’t believe that falling to your knees and praising God and Jesus will make you a better person. I don’t believe that every person that believes in God really believes in God. Growing up I wasn’t in church every single Sunday. I hated going to church because it meant I would miss cartoons all morning. I went a few times with friends. I went with an ex. I go with my girlfriend. I have told everyone that there is no vagina on Earth powerful enough to make me switch or join a religion. Joining or saying you believe when you really don't seems to be the fastest way to get sent to Hell (if you believe in it).
A huge misconception is that people who believe in Heaven and Hell think that people who don’t are animals or something. I discussed this on episode 51 of my Rosscast with Kiyoshi. As if you have no moral if you don’t believe in God or the Devil. This isn’t true. As someone that was an atheist, agnostic, and what I call a studying Christian, I can say that even when I was convinced there was no higher power that I still knew right from wrong. I knew what felt bad so I would try not to do that to others. I’ve never needed a bible or a belief to tell me what is right from wrong. Right and wrong existed before Jesus walked the Earth and will likely still exist if He ever decides to show up again (don’t know if you’ve ever read Revelations but when He shows up apparently the entire planet goes tits up).
One problem I have and have always had with God and the belief in Him is the lack of questioning. In the book I quoted at the beginning “Memnoch the Devil” Memnoch is Satan (which translates to The Accuser) questions God creating the Earth and humans and then pretty much abandoning us.
