Saturday, February 4, 2012

Cool Shit Black People Invented: Frederick McKinley Jones

Back when I was a kid every February we would learn all about Black History. For everyone this month brings either joy or annoyance. I have to admit that for me back in the day it was a lot of annoyance. I mean I had a perfectly good reason.

As a Black kid I thought it was weird because many of my teachers were White and all we would hear was “People who looked just like me took your ancestors from Africa in chains, beat them, made them slaves, freed them, treated them like shit, and…now its March and we wont discuss this until next year!

That was a total mind fuck for me as a child. Sometimes it was all about slavery and then other times we’d hear about the inventor of peanut butter or the cotton gin. As much as I love peanut butter and soft t-shirts there had to be something else that Black people made.

So one day I had to search. Surely Black people had to have done something else with their lives back in the day! Imagine my surprise when all of a sudden I found out that there was so much shit that we use every goddamn day that Black had invented. So this is the first of…well until this month is over of Blacks that created cool shit that you might not have known about.

Frederick M. Jones


Inventing shit...like a boss.


Maybe you don’t know the name but Frederick M. Jones created something that your ungrateful ass has used for years without wondering to yourself “Who in the fuck created this thing that I am enjoying so much?!” Oh, nothing. Except the air conditioner!

"Thanks, Black man!"

Jones was born in Cincinnati, Ohio back in 1893. Then his family left him orphaned and then he was adopted. After that he--seriously. Can you imagine how stupid the parents who gave this kid up must’ve felt? That’s like getting rid of your kid because carrying him makes your arms hurt and then he goes and invents bionic arms.

Which he totally would've invented if he wasn't busy fighting in wars. 

He then went on to fight in World War 1 because fuck not getting to shoot at people. He then worked as a mechanic and taught himself electronics and built a damned transmitter for the town’s radio station. Oh, and then he had a free day so he invented a device to combine sound with motion pictures.

"Thanks, Black man! Now get out our theater."

After that Jones was all like “Fuck, its hot on this planet!” and created portable air condoning unit for trucks carrying stuff. Suddenly it was used for everything from trains, ships, and planes. Then they started using them to keep food, blood, and medicine cold during World War 2.


The next time you turn on your AC just remember that some Black dude you didn’t know about until you read this created it because though Black people hate the cold we fucking love AC when its hot! Can you imagine a world without AC? I can. I don’t have it. I have a fan. AC makes me feel weird. But you all go ahead and enjoy it. And thank Frederick M. Jones.

Because this job would suck way more without him.

2 comments:

Njeri said...

Thanks, Black Man!

Will this be a month-long series?

Dante said...

Yep. Doing the next one in a few minutes.