Saturday, June 24, 2017

Dante Vs. Nature 69

For anyone that says “God doesn't make mistakes!” I present to you Trichobatrachus robustus aka Hairy Frog aka Wolverine Frog! This fucking thing looks like something out of a Guillermo Del Toro film. When not in scare the shit out of travelers mode its claws sit in its back feet. But when it wants to give you a story to talk about when you get home looking different they pop out of its hands. They don't even come out of normal claw places either. The shits come out of its palms. It breaks its own bones just to defend itself. Its the same shit that frat boys or lunatics do but instead of ripping off their shirt to flash their barbed wire tattoo they smash their hands into glass and use that glass as a weapon. It'd be like high-fiving a demon and I don't need that stress in my life.

These things also grow hair when they are in mating season. Its the opposite of me. I tend to get more ass when I cut my hair...which is why I'm growing it right now. And that hair hold extra oxygen that it needs when taking care of its baby monsters. I'm not prepared for that level of anarchy. Back to the claws. They are just straight up bone. Not that shit your pet has. Its bone. It doesn't even use muscle to pull the bone back in. It just does like some sort of reverse cactus needle. Fuck that. Thankfully these things don't get too big or else I'd have to change planets.

Click here for previous Dante Vs. Nature

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