Thursday, June 29, 2017

Creepy Woman Becomes Creepy Dark Woman

When I first saw this woman I thought it was a fake image. I figured that there was no one that would for real do the same shit that Robert Downey Jr. from Tropic Thunder did. Turns out I was wrong. Martina Adams aka Martina Big is a German model that is known for having the biggest bazungas in Europe. She is now known for for turning her skin darker in an attempt to transition into being a Black woman. This woman looks spooky as shit. Just to get that out of the way in case anyone reading this thought that she was My Current Jam or something. She isn't. This shit is frightening.

After having some extensions added to her hair she said “To become more and more a black woman, that is such a wonderful feeling. I'm so happy. I'm a black girl with black hair, so I have to change very soon my passport.” I think that should be the least of her concerns. Frightening children and making it harder for me to sleep should be higher up on that list. She also says she plans to change more of her features and get a bigger butt.

Some people have gotten upset with her because reasons. In defense of her insane ass plan she said “I think when black women will bleach there skin, because they feel herself nicer, that is perfectly fine! And no one is outraged. But if a white woman does the reverse, because she follows her heart and her feelings, then she is bad and she is a racist! And thousands of people are upset about it! Why is that so???” This is what you get for telling everyone that they can be whatever they want! You can not tell the world that they can look however they want, be whoever they want, and do what they feel in their hearts and then say they crossed the line when they want to look like they feel in strategically placed dirt. We can't have women that look like Lil Kim walking around and get butt hurt when this monster emerges.

If you are wondering how you too can get the Zimbabwe look it is attained through injections that increase you melanin. She began but just doing regular ass tanning but started doing the injections as well. “Nine weeks ago, I had just three tanning injections. I was not expecting to go so dark but it worked so well. I love it and I really want to push it to the extreme. Now I just want to get darker and darker and see what the limits are. I love the contrast of my bright blonde hair and my dark, crispy brown skin. I love seeing the reactions of people. I can see their big eyes when I walk past and their shocked faces, thinking 'how is this possible?'” She continued. “At first, my fans were irritated saying 'why did you do this?!' but that is because they have never seen a white girl change her skin to African dark before.” Sure. You're fans...

Martina also thinks that Black people won't be upset by what she is doing further proving that she has zero common sense. Or Black friends. “Yes, I have the skin of an African girl. But I am not pretending to be a black girl. In the seventh week after the injections, I went back to see my doctor. I said 'hello' and he looked at me like, huh, who is this in my waiting room? It was very funny. He said 'I have never seen a girl turn so African dark before. Are you sure that you want this?' I told him 'Yes!' I love my skin like this. I love the extreme look.” Then his face melted and his head exploded from the weight of the sin he was committing. 

The crazy thing...well. The other crazy thing about this woman that says she is 32 (I'll wait for you all to stop laughing) is that she has a man and while he also has tanning injections he does not plan to go as far as she did. Likely because he'd be spending the rest of his days catching hands. Martina didn't always look like that female Gremlin. I saw some before images where she just looked like a regular ass White chick and not the Wayan Brothers version. She was like an California 3 but likely a German 9. One of those women that is one kid away from reaching her final form. But then she started getting breast surgery and it was all downhill from there.

I know with some surgeries they do psychological exams and I wonder if this chick has had any. I know today you aren't supposed to call someone out on their bullshit unless they are a White dude but fuck that. This chick is nutty as squirrel turds. People have been comparing Martina to Rachel Dolezal which is ridiculous. Dolezal pretended to be a Black woman for years and would have gotten away with it if it weren't for those meddling kids. But this woman got tired of fucking up her White body and decided to turn it black and start fucking with it in a new way. If one day I called my friends and said “You know what? I'm a turtle. Got one tattooed on my arm. Its my spirit animal. So...yeah. I'm a turtle now. Gonna turn my skin green. Wear a shell made of a garbage can. Bury eggs in the sand.” My friends would stage an intervention because clearly I have lost my mind. I hope she fucks around and starts getting Black folk illnesses.  


Anonymous said...

Omg! Dante...u ain't right but you're hilarious! I love it! (And btw, I never read blogs. Ever. Most peoples' opinions are completely worthless).

Dante said...

Thanks, stranger.