Tuesday, July 25, 2017

My Current Jam: Tabria Majors

When you say someone is a BBW that second B is real important. There are too many BW's adding that extra B when they don't deserve it. That's right, I said it. I first spotted Tabria Majors on TMZ for some Sports Illustrated photo shoot because I don't think anyone reads that shit for actual sports anymore. Anyhoot, this chick is cute as fuck. I need to do another post explaining what the hell that term even means. Like, she is so cute I don't wanna touch her. She's like one of those cakes with all that pretty shit on it. You just wanna stare at it because its too pretty to ruin. If I was dating her I wouldn't want her parents to know that I was having the sex with her. Just apologize to her father every time I met him.

I have no idea what she sounds like even though she has a podcast. I'm almost afraid to hear her because in my old age I am discovering that I am not a fan of many chicks voices. She is 27 years old and 5 foot 10 so she could wear heels around me. That's a thing, dudes. Chicks love when they can wear heels around you and you're still taller than them. Her dress and hips sizes and all that shit are available but that means nothing to me. The size of women clothes is just a strange puzzle to my ass but in case you're nosy its 42/35/49. That sounds like way more than what Sir Mix-A-Lot asked for. She is also from Los Angeles because we make more than avocados here.

Now comes the part where I explain why I'd never go near this fine ass woman. She in her 20's. You all know that I can not mess around with no girl that young. Plus she is active and inspirational and that is too much work. But I can still look at her the same way I look at any other woman. From a distance.

Click here for previous My Current Jam.

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