My Current Jam: Toni Storm

This is Toni Storm and she has the best ass in wrestling. That's right, I said it. The best. By far. Dare you to find a better one. Oh, and she can totally wrestle. She was born in New Zealand and lived in Australia but at 13 convinced her mother to let her move to England so she could train to be a wrestler because in Australia you don't say no to people, even children. She's only 21 now so she's pretty much a baby and I have zero chance with her because, like, she probably exercises and shit. Has to keep in shape and all that. So yeah. I first saw who she was watching the Mae Young Classic wrestling tournament and immediately became a fan.

My Current Jam: Tabria Majors

When you say someone is a BBW that second B is real important. There are too many BW's adding that extra B when they don't deserve it. That's right, I said it. I first spotted Tabria Majors on TMZ for some Sports Illustrated photo shoot because I don't think anyone reads that shit for actual sports anymore. Anyhoot, this chick is cute as fuck. I need to do another post explaining what the hell that term even means. Like, she is so cute I don't wanna touch her. She's like one of those cakes with all that pretty shit on it. You just wanna stare at it because its too pretty to ruin. If I was dating her I wouldn't want her parents to know that I was having the sex with her. Just apologize to her father every time I met him.

My Current Jam: Random Ass Women

I am into the most random ass women at the moment and oversharing. The first is a fitness chick named Miche. Don't know the rest of her name. Don't care. I like looking at her. I don't even know what her voice sounds like. She is in her early 20's, from Tampa Florida, and is 5 foot 2 and 140 pounds most of which seems to be in two places. The fact that she is super young and into fitness means that automatically I am out of the running for being with her in any sense of the word. 

She is also into motivating people so I am definitely out. She is into guys with goals so we're pretty much beating a dead horse. What a terrible phrase that is. Her size (hips and all that shit) is available but it means nothing to me. Even when bra sized is explained to me in the simplest terms my brain just goes “Dolphins are so weird...” and I drift off. This chick is hot and tiny and I could fit her into my pocket. The only turn off I could find is when she said in an interview that she doesn't like Photoshop in her pictures and has cellulite and such. Its like when a 20 years old dude that should physically be at his peak saying he doesn't mind that he doesn't have abs. Its like, shut up. You'll mind one day. Anyhoot, cute chick. I'd smash. I love that term. Its terrible, but I love it and never get to say it.

My Current Jam: Emayatzy Corinealdi

My Current Jam is Emayatzy Corinealdi. I don't know anything about her and didn't know that she existed until I watched her on the first season of Hand Of God. I saw her and thought “Holy crap, this woman is fine!” She is fine in that way that I miss from growing up. Like, when I was little someone would have that fine ass aunty (she'd only be like 25 but to me a grown ass woman) that I'd want. I would have laid my two inches on 'em in a second. I think I am complimenting this woman in a terribly roundabout way. What I'm saying she is hot in that approachable way that a lot of famous or celebrity type women are not. I think I could date a woman that looks like her even though I'd never attempt to say her name out loud.

My Current Jam: Solo Darling

I had this blog set up and ready to do about this wrestler named Solo Darling. She is what I call “cute as fuck.” I had her Wikipedia page bookmarked and I shit you not it was deleted. Not just deleted, but people hate this chick. Like...hate her. I went to another site that shows stats about her and her career and dudes have this ugliness towards her and I am sure I know where it comes from. It comes from that place every man, and possibly women, have where you like someone that looks attainable but you know they don't want you so you get mad and talk shit about them. Everything they say about her starts with her looks and then trickles down to her skills.

My Current Jam: Rose Bertram

I was trolling TMZ a few days ago and they had this image of these models together on the beach just sitting there being models and doing what models do like make women feel bad about themselves because they don't weight 90 pounds and can barely get a free refill on their Pepsi based on the way they are built let alone get sent around the world just so people can take pictures of them because of their structure. I'm not normally even into models unless they look bizarre. But when I saw this pack of models the one all the way to the right grabbed my eyes. And by eyes I mean penis.

My Current Jam: Serena Williams

Serena Williams is 5 foot 9 and 155lbs. of hot chocolate. She was born in Saginaw, Michigan and moved to Compton when she was little and started practicing tennis by the age of 3. Know I was doing at 3? Watching game shows and knowing how to read. She has won twenty one Grand Slam titles, thirteen in doubles, two in mixed doubles, and four Olympic gold medals. She is 34 years old (very much in my dating age bracket) and the oldest ranking female tennis player to be number one. She is one of those people that seems like she can not not be a champion or strive to be but she also seems fun as fuck.

My Current Jam: Angelina Castro

If you're one of those not fun people that are against porn or you get laid so much that you don't give a damn then this post is not for you. I will sit here and say that Angelina Castro is my current jam when she has been so for about two years now. I can't remember the first video I ever saw her in but the first thing I noticed was that she actually looked like she was enjoying having sex (yes, I notice when someone is not into it or just bad at acting like they do) and the second was her banging ass body. And that she kinda looks like one of my ex girlfriends. They could be sisters. This may be a chick thing too but there is no feeling like finding a porn star that looks like someone you dated but don't hate or someone you like that you know will never have the sex with you. Its like a fist bump from Jesus because he feels bad for you.

My Current Jam: Michelle Jenneke

There are some women that have happy faces and when I see their faces it makes me happy. Michelle Jenneke is one of those people. I have a few friends like this (as all you should) but I don't have friends that can run like her. At least to my knowledge. She is an Australian Olympic runner an hurdler which I appreciate because I only like events that have practical uses and yes tumbling also counts as one of those practical things. She's won all of the medals including the Dante one. That's a real thing. Shut up.

My Current Jam: Demi Lovato

I have a thing for Demi Lovato right now. She my jam. Been my jam for a couple weeks. I know nothing about her. I didn't know that her full name was Demetria Devonne Lovato. I thought it was Demi. I had seen her a few times or heard about her on TMZ randomly through the years. I also knew that she had an eating disorder and a drug and alcohol issue. And you know what? Good for her. We all gotta have some issue. If one of her songs came on the radio I wouldn't be able to tell you that it was her with 100% certainty. Like with most chicks I saw a video and/or picture that made me go “I think she would fit nicely on my face...”

My Current Jam: Asuka

Its funny how you can see someone a bunch of times and never think that they are that attractive and then one day they'll do something and you'll go “Oh. Well. It appears that I like that.” And by “you'll” I mean your penis. I had seen this wrestler named Asuka in NXT formerly known as Kana real name Kanako Urai a couple years back and thought she looked cool but it went no further than that. And then one day while looking for pictures to insert myself into I came across an animated gif of her and my face melted, my pants changed shape, and I started looking at this crazy ass chick in a different way. I think my voice got deeper too. Anyhoot, this is the image that got me.

My Current Jam: Rin Nakai

There is close to no consistency in the type of women that I like looking at. Looking at. Not dating. Not having sex with. Not even talking to. There are some women that I like to look at, smile, and go about my day. A few months ago I discovered this chick named Rin Nakai after hearing her mentioned on a podcast and the guys started shitting on her looks. Of course me being me I had to look for her and was pleasantly surprised by the way she looked. Lots of female MMA fighters are really hard bodied or look like they battle using the face to fist style but not Nakai. She is cute and would easily flip me to the ground and have me screaming to my ancestors for help.