Sunday, September 24, 2017

My Current Jam: Toni Storm

This is Toni Storm and she has the best ass in wrestling. That's right, I said it. The best. By far. Dare you to find a better one. Oh, and she can totally wrestle. She was born in New Zealand and lived in Australia but at 13 convinced her mother to let her move to England so she could train to be a wrestler because in Australia you don't say no to people, even children. She's only 21 now so she's pretty much a baby and I have zero chance with her because, like, she probably exercises and shit. Has to keep in shape and all that. So yeah. I first saw who she was watching the Mae Young Classic wrestling tournament and immediately became a fan.

She acts weird as fuck when she wrestles but has a beautiful smile. She is one of those people whose smile makes you smile when she isn't, you know, kicking folks asses. Or shoving their faces in hers. All the money. I would give all the money to have this happen to me. I am willing to be homeless just to have the memory of this event in my life. There's some women I now personally I'd do the same for but they'll never know because they could actually slap me for asking. But I'll never meet Storm so I am safe having this wish. Every few years I need a new wrestling bae. I've had Lita, Trish Stratus, Lufisto, Persephone Vice, Naomi, Sasha Banks, and now Toni Storm. Don't judge me.

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