Tuesday, January 16, 2018

Finest Female Fighters

I like seeing women fight. Now just WSHH style which tends to have too much profanity for my Christian ears. Back when I was younger I used to watch this lay named Christy Martin that boxed before Mike Tyson fights and she would beat the hell out of other women. Then Laila Ali showed up and fucked everything up. It became a game of “Wait. They can look good and fight?!” For a while she was the only female fighter people were talking about. Didn't matter if another woman was better than her which in all honesty there really wasn't. Female boxers back then were few and far between. Then Gina Carano arrived and fucked the whole game up.

She was an amazing fighter, hot as all get out, and an amazing fighter. Yeah, you could look at her and think she was attractive but she was mostly seen as a good fighter. As a professional fighter she only had seven fights and lost her last against Cris Cyborg and if you watch MMA you know who she is and why she is infamous. Carano now does movies and retired from MMA years ago but the impact she had on the sport in terms of skill and beauty continue to this day. Speaking of impact...

This is my list of the four women I find attractive in MMA. I already know that a lot of people will disagree with this list. I have seen other lists of this kind and I am not into women that look like little girls. And some people will not like this list because I am openly admitting that a woman is attractive which is frowned upon these days. Either way feel free to disagree with me and be wrong. You'll also notice that there aren't any Black chicks because I am not aware of Black chicks fighting in MMA. Wait. There is the one. Angela Hill. But...no.

Rachael Ostovich 

Ostovich is 26 years old, 5'3”, 125 pounds, and from Hawaii. She fights using judo and MMA and has a record of 4-3 which is not that good but I don't care because I saw weigh in where she wore a Wonder Woman themed outfit and also fought in one and if you know me or have been unlucky enough to hear my “If A Woman Wears Wonder Woman Clothes” conversation then you know her win/loss record means nothing to me. “I love Wonder Woman. Who doesn't love Wonder Woman? I just wanted to rock some Wonder Woman attire and I guess everyone started liking it. Hopefully I get to wear it some more.” This woman will take your ass down and pummel you. Ostovich is a good example of how different women can make themselves look with makeup. And, you know, like, you being all bloody from fighting.

Cláudia Gadelha 

Gadelha is 29 years old, 5'4”, 115 pounds, and from Mossoró, Rio Grande do Norte, Brazil. She fights using Muay Thai and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu and will hurt your fucking feelings. By looking at her you would never know just how dangerous she is but I have and can attest to it. She has a MMA record of 15-3. That means that she has been in more fights as a professional than many will have in their lives. Unless you have siblings in which case you probably broke that record before junior high. When she was growing up she was all about them drugs and her parents moved her to get away from it and she ended up secretly working out and eventually fell in love with fighting. She is the kinda cute where if I were dating her and she came home all jacked up I would openly weep. Like, big ugly Viola Davis tears.

Miesha Tate 

Tate is 31 years old, 5'6”, 135 pounds, and from Tacoma, Washington. Her nickname is Cupcake. You figure it out. She retired with a record of 18-7. She actually grew on me after listening to interviews of her because I hated her because she was fighting my number one bae on this list and I choose sides, damn it. She does wrestling, boxing, submission, Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, and Muay Thai. She do it all. She was really good at takedowns an smothering the shit out of women while bashing them or submitting them. She also looks like a girl I had a crush on years ago which explains why I like her and didn't. Her fight with bae number one is one of the main reasons women in the UFC is even a thing now.

Ronda Rousey 

Rousey is 30 years old, 5'7”, 135 pounds, from Riverside, California. Her record is 12-2 but those 2 were fucking nuts. Rousey is one of those people that I thought would never lose a fight no matter how good the opponent allegedly was. Her style is Judo which makes sense seeing as how her mother is AnnaMaria De Mars who won gold in judo. Most of Rousey's fights were won by armbar which was super fucing intense and entertaining to watch. Not only was she incredible as a fighter she was cute with the ability to be hot. She started acting in films and being sent everywhere for interviews which you could say hurt her fight game. She had more history than Carano, more fights, more personality, and was the right person at the right time for women in MMA. No matter how far women go in the sport it will always be traced back to Rousey. 

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