Nature needs to cut that weird shit
out. Recently I found out about two new insects and I don't like it.
People like discovering new things in life but I'm not one of 'em.
This thing Eriovixia gryffindori is a spider named after Gryffindor
from the Harry Potter series because it looks like the sorting hat
used.
Look at this freak. It was first discovered two years ago in
south-western India and it can stay right there as far as I'm
concerned. It looks like it could bark. I bet it barks. There ain't
shit known about it because it is new but rest assured that it will
do some freaky shit I'm not comfortable with. I don't wanna see something in nature that looks like something from a crazy ass kids book. Plus it looks sneaky. Like it would whisper shit about you after you left the room. Just a feeling I have.
Hey, look at this bullshit. Diopsis
macrophthalma also known as Stalk-eyed flies can keep that bullshit
to themselves. I was watching a nature show with Cam last night and
we both lost our collective shit when we saw this thing. It starts
off as an ugly fly and starts pumping air into its face until it
inflates. That air then shoves its eyes out sideways.
It then smooths
the shit out and hardens before eventually for no reason other than
to fuck with my sleep gets dark and gains the ability to fly because it doesn't think you're nervous enough. This
asshole has been around since dinosaur times or something which makes
it even more disturbing that I just found out about it last night.
They are in Southeast Asia and Southern Africa which gives me more
reason to never travel.
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Nature.
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