Saturday, May 5, 2018

Dante Explains Shit: Stem Cells

Just what the fuck is a stem cell? Ain't it that stuff they yank out of aborted babies and men use to get their dicks working again or something? No. I used to think it was all about that first part but I was wrong. These nasty things we call bodies are made up of cells. They do different things and that is where stem cells come into play. These weird sons of bitches can become pretty much anything when introduced into the body. Decades ago they were isolated and used to help with transplants. Using cells for transplants that are from someone related is always preferable but not always available. There is a shit ton of research into stem cells and what they can do and so far they are used to treat over eighty diseases.

There are two kinds of stem cells. Embryonic ones are just blank cells. They are in the womb and don't even know what to do yet sort of like most of humanity. They are just cells and have the potential to become anything. There is controversy with this because people like babies and think all of them have the ability to possibly be a human. The other cells can be gathered from umbilical cord tissue and are known as Adult stem cells. These are more limited in what you can do with them because they are like that cousin you have that thinks he is gonna be a rapper even though his mixtape is hot garbage. They have made their decision an they're gonna stick with it. Embryonic cells on the other hand are like Multiple Man. They will break off and do whatever the fuck they want.

Our bodies make cells two ways: they divide and become more cells or from stems cells. Cells are usually replicas of themselves. They split off and go “Well, if you are a skin cell then I'm gonna be a stem cell, too!” Then the other stem cell gets mad because it can't do a goddamn thing without being copied in this house! I can't wait to move! Our bodies are always making cells that last a certain amount of time and then renew like a Pornhub subscription. Except the brain. Once them cells is gone they are gone which explains diseases like Alzheimer's or for those who were never corrected Old Timers. Those people also say things like “lieberry” and “kidneygarden.”

Stem cells can potentially help replace neurons damaged by injuries to the spinal cord, Alzheimer's disease, make insulin, and build heart muscle cells after a heart attack. Currently they are used for restore the blood system after treatments for some cancers, help grow skin grafts for burn victims, and treatment has been created to replace damaged corneas after chemical burns. Most things with stem cells and research is still considered new because it has only been able 30 years of it being used. Countries out the U.S are doing more with research and has better support which equals more results and testing. More research can be helpful in making sure you live long enough to complain about how slow the teleporters are and how you're sick of taking care of your 200 year old parents.

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