Dante Explains Shit: Defund The Police

Defund the police does not mean get rid of all police. There. Now you don't need to read the rest of this.

George Floyd was killed after being accused of using a counterfeit $20 bill. They knelled on his neck for almost nine minutes. Breonna Taylor was asleep in bed when police barged into her home and shot her. Atatiana Jefferson was shot through her window by police when a neighbor reported that her door was left open. Stephon Clark was shot while standing in his grandmothers yard. They said he had a gun. He was talking on the phone. Botham Jean was eating ice cream in his apartment when an off duty cop entered his home thinking it was hers and shot him. Philando Castille was shot during a traffic stop where he informed the cop he had a licensed firearm. He was immediately killed in front of his wife and 4 year old daughter. Alton Sterling was accused of selling bootleg CD's and DVD's. He was tasered and while being pinned to the ground shot six times. Freddie Gray was arrested and while in a police van suffered a severed spine. Eric Garner was accused of selling loose cigarettes and was choked to death in the street.

Dante Explains Shit: Drug Abuse

People love to feel good. And by feel good I mean get fucked up. People have been doing it ever since some weird ass caveman ate a piece of fruit that was too old and got loose. There have been a lot of rappers dying the past few years from drug use. Drug use ain't new in music by any stretch of the imagination its just the drugs that these kids are taking are powerful as fuuuuuck. I read that in 2017 that 33% of rap songs that were on Billboard's Hot 100 chart mentioned lean aka Codeine. I was recently talking to a friend about lean and why people use two cups when they drink it. Its because the shit sweats through the first one. Do I really wanna ingest something that leaks through a Styrofoam cup? No, not really.

I am gonna sit here and try to explain all the drugs these kids are doing these days and what they feel like. This is not from experience. I say no to drugs! Hell, every kid that was in the D.A.R.E program in the 80's did the most drugs. Most of these sound fun as hell to do but when you see someone who took too much at once or could not stop when they should've the shit does not look any sorta fun. I say if you are gonna get turnt just drink responsibly or smoke weed. Or just watch a good TV or porn. Relax. Because its sucks living in a world where we know we loss Prince to a prescription pill addiction.

Dante Explains Shit: Hunting

I used to be full on against hunting. I didn't understand the concept of hunting for an animal or hunting to eat something when you could just go to the store and buy the damned thing. Then I started reading about hunting and hunters years ago and it changed my mind. Yeah, there are people that hunt illegally and poach which makes people think that hunting should flat out be illegal. Look. If some folks did something so bad that everyone should stop doing it I would remove all cars from the road and if I couldn't do that you would have to lock your phone in the trunk when you got behind the wheel.

I should also point out that I do not hunt. I have never hunted. I have no desire to hunt and fear a time in my life where I have to track and kill and then properly cook something I have hunted. I assure you that if you gave me a cow and told me to make a burger I would die from some disease that we thought no longer existed. “How the fuck he get rinderpest?!” I eat meat regular and not always from places that talk about about humane the animals are treated. Know why? Shit's expensive and I don't know if the places are even straight up honest about their practices. The only way I could be 100% sure is if I was hunting and eating the animals myself. “But what about people who hunt not to eat but just to kill?!” Good question, stranger.

Dante Explains Shit: Stem Cells

Just what the fuck is a stem cell? Ain't it that stuff they yank out of aborted babies and men use to get their dicks working again or something? No. I used to think it was all about that first part but I was wrong. These nasty things we call bodies are made up of cells. They do different things and that is where stem cells come into play. These weird sons of bitches can become pretty much anything when introduced into the body. Decades ago they were isolated and used to help with transplants. Using cells for transplants that are from someone related is always preferable but not always available. There is a shit ton of research into stem cells and what they can do and so far they are used to treat over eighty diseases.

There are two kinds of stem cells. Embryonic ones are just blank cells. They are in the womb and don't even know what to do yet sort of like most of humanity. They are just cells and have the potential to become anything. There is controversy with this because people like babies and think all of them have the ability to possibly be a human. The other cells can be gathered from umbilical cord tissue and are known as Adult stem cells. These are more limited in what you can do with them because they are like that cousin you have that thinks he is gonna be a rapper even though his mixtape is hot garbage. They have made their decision an they're gonna stick with it. Embryonic cells on the other hand are like Multiple Man. They will break off and do whatever the fuck they want.

Dante Explains Shit: Net Neutrality

Lately I have been a hearing a lot about Net Neutrality. Well, that and the fact that Hollywood is just full of perverts. There are a lot of people talking about this but also squeezing in other bullshit to the point where it just sounds like noise to me and since I have the attention span of a priest at a Boy Scouts meeting I need shit explained to me simply. I'm sure some of you out there are the same way which is why I am doing this. Now let us figure out exactly what this is and why it will ruin your life.

Dante Explains Shit: Drone Strikes

I hate learning about the government. Ask me when is the last time I did one of those Dante Learns The Amendments. Its one of those things that I find boring and aggravating because there seems to be an answer to fixing the way it works but those things don't get done. Whatever you want from your government will get you the opposite and then you wait four or eight years and start over with someone else doing the same shit. Or worse.

Earlier president Barrack Obama issued an apology after a drone strike in Pakistan that killed an American development expert named Warren Weinstein and Italian aid worker Giovanni Lo Porto. They say this is the first instance of the U.S accidentally killing a hostage in a drone strike. Most people reading that just rolled their eyes. “As president and as commander in chief I take full responsibility for all our counter-terrorism operations. I profoundly regret what happened. On behalf of the United States government I offer our deepest apologies to their families.”

Dante Explains Shit: Marijuana Laws

Weed! Marijuana. Ganja. The Devil's Weed. Papa Smurf. I made the last one up. Its known by many things but illegal is the most prevalent. Now, while marijuana laws are slowly changing possessing weed will get you in jail or fined no matter how much of it you have. Most people just think that weed is bad and should be illegal without really know why it is in the first place. So in this Dante Explains Shit I'm gonna do a Cliff Notes version of the history of marijuana and how it got to the point where smoking a plant will get your freedom taken away.

Since the 1800's marijuana was used for medical purposes. People like to think that only in recent decades its been used to treat pain and illnesses but its been hundreds of years. I think I need to clarify something. When people think of hemp they think of marijuana. You can not get high from hemp no matter how much you smoke. Though they are from the same plant one is male and the other female.

Hemp is used for many things. Fabric, building material, and also paper. Hemp is one of the strongest materials on the planet and unlike most plants. The sails of ships were made of the stuff. Jeans were made from it. The first two drafts of the Declaration of Independence were written on it. Hemp is cheap, strong, and easy to grow. Like my penis.

Dante Explains Shit: Ebola

I like to think that I can explain complicated things in a way that even the dumbest of people can understand. Its not true, but I like to think it. Today I am going to try to explain what the hell Ebola is. A lot of people are afraid of it and freaking out yet not doing anything to actually protect themselves from it. We have a bunch of Chicken Little's running around and those are the types of people that make things worse. There is a difference between vigilant and panicky.

Ebola is a disease that is transmitted from animals to humans because we just can not stop touching the monkeys! Its like getting HIV without the benefit of sex or getting high. After a human gets it they can spread it to other humans because sharing is caring. If you do have the for reals Ebola there is a 50% chance you will die but not before giving it to someone else because you hate washing your hands and shit wherever you please.

"I play in poop!"

The first outbreaks of Ebola occurred in Central Africa (South Central Africa as I like to say) but the current one is in West Africa. The best way to stop an outbreak is to do the opposite of everything that has been done. Managing suspected and confirmed cases, keeping track of them, doctors that know what they're doing, and if need be proper burial.