I just found out something new. Incels. I had never heard this phrase or term before and decided to check it out. I thought that this was a joke or some small thing that would go away. Turns out that it has been around, like, forever, but was given the name “involuntarily celibate” by a lady from Toronto named Alana in 1993 after she came out as bisexual. She started a forum online, Alana's Involuntary Celibacy Project, but shut it down because, surprise!, a bunch of angry ass men joined to rage against women that didn't want to bone down with them. She stated in 2016 interview in Elle “Like a scientist who invented something that ended up being a weapon of war, I can't uninvent this word, nor restrict it to the nicer people who need it.”
Urban Dictionary's top rated definition states that an Incel is “involuntarily celibate, a person (usually male) who has a horrible personality and treats women like sexual objects and thinks his lack of a sex life comes from being ugly when its really just his blatant sexism and terrible attitude. Incels have little to no self awareness; even when they see other 'ugly' men with girlfriends, they consider these men to be tricksters who have somehow beat the system and can get women despite being cursed with unattractiveness.” New York Times describe it as “Incels are misogynists who are deeply suspicious and disparaging of women, whom they blame for denying them their right to sexual intercourse.”
I have not had sex in years but would not consider myself involuntarily celibate. Even when I was short and raggedy, tall and awkward, skin all jacked up, hair a mess, or chubby I never considered myself celibate. Sex is always available to most people in some way or another if you're not a raging asshole and not rapey. Hell. Some raging assholes get a man or woman to date them so I can't even say that. When I say that sex is available I say that knowing that sex is something that comes with other things. I don't want to just have sex with someone I barely know, say bye, and vanish. Maybe these angry ass people do and that in and of itself is a problem.
To hate women or anyone because they won't have sex with you is fucking ridiculous. A few months ago I told my best friend that I was bitter because of how my last relationship ended as well as a three week nonsense fest I had. I was bitter but it never and still has not gotten to a point where I blame women for any relationship issues I have. Know why? Because I'm not an idiot. People have the right to date or have sex with who they choose. I can't be mad that someone doesn't want to date me and would rather date pr sleep with someone that is worse for them in some cases and better in others. I was bitter at the men that created issues that a lot of women carry well into adulthood. I didn't say “Fuck women!” I was more “Man, fuck these dads/uncles/brothers/bad boyfriends that turn women into this.”
Terms that Incels use are “Chads” and “Stacys.” Chads are men that are successful with women and Stacys are the women that “reject” Incels. The reason this stuff has come up is because of two terrible attacks made by dudes that were mentally unstable as fuck and used women as a weapon for their attacks. Back in 2016 Elliot Rodgers kill 6 and injured 14 people in Isla Vista (click here for my post about that). A few weeks ago Alek Minassian praised Rodgers saying “The Incel Rebellion has already begun! We will overthrow all the Chads and Stacys! All hail Supreme Gentleman Elliot Rodger!” He killed 10 people by running them over in Toronto. Rodgers also said “I'm the perfect guy and yet you throw yourselves at these obnoxious men instead of me, the supreme gentleman.” And?
My interpretation of these guys and those that think like them is to get your mind right. Looking back at when I could not find a girlfriend for anything it is obvious why I couldn't. I didn't deserve to have one, let alone one that would have the sex with me, because I was a loser. Not the movie version of a loser that exercises, gets a makeover, gets contacts instead of my glasses, and next thing you know I'm getting more ass than a proctologist. I didn't think I was worth liking and depressed as fuck so I attracted women that felt the same about themselves and we would make an echo chamber of negativity. Echo chambers are dangerous as fuck and you may be in one and not even know it. You can find a community of people that think just like you and reinforce your crazy ass thoughts until you start to think your ideas and beliefs are normal. We all need someone in our lives that tell us the truth and we don't all have that. We need people that ask us why we think the way we do. People that challenge your ideas and thoughts. “That person that you never talk to and just stare at from a distance doesn't want to fuck you? That's shocking.”
Life is full of rejections. I used to bang my head against the wall trying to figure out why people didn't like me. Meanwhile I didn't even like myself. Instead of asking why someone doesn't like you honesty ask people why they should. I have asked friends “If you weren't you would you be friends with you?” I have been asked and I say “Sometimes.” Because I don't consider myself exciting or funny. If I wanted to see a movie, go to lunch, lift heavy shit, or talk honestly I'd call Dante. You can not get mad that someone doesn't want to be with someone who believes that women or men should have sex with them just because you want them. If you looked at it from the outside it would sound insane. Imagine you watched a movie where that was part of the plot. Actually there are movies like that and the guys are lunatics. These guys think that just because they want someone they should have them. They leave out the “whether they want to or not.” I think I've written enough about this crazy shit. In closing, if someone doesn't like you it's not because they are evil. It means they have a say/choice in the matter. Deal with it.