Some damned fool decided to play a game
of slap ass with a hippo at the L.A. Zoo. This ass smacking bandit
has not been caught yet but was filmed climbing the way too short for
what is inside wall and acting like he was at an Atlanta strip club.
The two hippos, Rosie and her daughter Mara, were just minding their
business when this guy decided to take the highway to the danger zone
and get his smack on. It doesn't seem like smacking a hippo is a bad
thing...if you dumb.
I saw this crazy documentary years ago called
Congo with Bruce Campbell and it opened my eyes to the dangers of
hippos. Later when the internet became a thing I could watch these
creatures that I thought wiggled their ears, flung shit out their
butts and swatted it like a fan with their tail, and had little birds
eat leavings in their teeth chase Africans at speeds that made no
sense and proved that god was not only cruel but liked a good laugh.
They say about 500 people are killed by hippos every year in Africa
which means the real number is closer to 20,000 because Africa don't
wanna look like no punk bitch being killed by river pigs. If I were
this guy I'd never want to be caught because showing up to court is
gonna be eleven kinds of embarrassing and if he is locked up it is he
who will become the hippo. Plus smacking butts is just rude unless
they are into it. Then its fun as hell. But not with hippos. Don't
smack hippo ass. Ever.
Click here for previous Dante Vs.
Nature.
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