Johnny Panic: We Got It From Here Part 7

Click here for previous Johnny Panic.

Zazz has fainted by the time I catch him. I tap his cheek and he snorts. I tap him again and he nuzzles into my arms and whimpers. This would be cute if it were my daughter. Or Ronica. Or a puppy. But not a chubby, tear streaked man that smells of onion rings. I don't even know how he manages to get onion rings here on the island but he does. I slowly head back to the ground and Ronica's disapproving glare. She is super pissed. She wasn't even this pissed off when I started that campaign to get Small Wonder brought back with the original cast. She believed that the show was a classic and a reboot would tarnish that. Sure, it turns out that she was right and Vicki the Robot put in maximum 30% effort. But still. I got to be in the music video for the remix of the theme song.

“Put Zazz down” Ronica hisses. Like actually hisses. “You and I need to talk right now, Walter.”

“But the aliens...”

“NOW.”

Ronica hands Milly to Aimee who is standing over a still fainted Zazz. We head inside and as soon as the door closes Ronica puts her finger in my face. I take a nip at it. She pushes my face away. I know she is pissed. I know I should've told her about the tests I was running with Milly but I also know that she would have tried to stop me from doing them. Our daughter is fine though. Hell, she managed to fight off alien spaceships for days all by herself when I couldn't even handle being blasted once. Our baby is tougher than Ronica knows.

“Look... I begin.

“I can barely stand looking at your right now, Walter” she says. “You put our baby in danger god knows how many times.” I almost tell her how many times but I imagine that even with my powers whatever she would do would hurt. “And then you left us alone.”

“I was knocked out.”

“You've been knocked out before.”

“Not by a fucking...not by a spaceships beam. It was different.”

“You can not leave us alone like that again” she continues. “And you can not do that shit with Mary again. I get it, she has powers. More powers than you. Don't say anything yet. I know you want to say something like 'Oh, well I can make my hands hot!' but that is not what this is about. This is about you attempting to be a good man and a better father. I understand that it's hard as hell trying to be who you are and protecting an entire planet. But you have to understand that it's hard for us too. It is hard knowing that you actively head into danger and this week was the worst case scenario for me, our family, and this planet. You were unavailable...”

“Knocked out.”

“...and there was nothing we could do. Until suddenly our baby somehow took off into the skies and started battling aliens. Our baby. I did not sleep for a minute. I stayed up watching the TV and calling in any favor to find out if for sure that was Mary up there all by herself. I thought...I thought she would get lost and not be able to come back home. Or...just keep floating away. The thought of that along with you being gone was too much, Walter.”

“I...I am so sorry.”

“Did you know that Mary could do the thing with the light?” Ronica asks. I shake my head no. I had no idea that she could go full Techno Viking. “When she first left Aimee could not see for over an hour because Mary was so bright.”

“I could do that too if I felt like it” I say. Ronica smiles.

“I have not forgiven you for this” she says. “You put our baby in danger and I am gonna have some real issues trusting you. But right now I need you to go up there and destroy everything in the sky that is not human.”

“I agree” I say. “Goddamn birds are gonna pay.”

“Leave the birds alone” she says. We hear Milly squeal outside. I grab Ronica and rush outside. Milly is pointing at the sky while Zazz, who is now awake, is holding onto her with Aimee. They each have one of her chubby ankles. I take her into my arms and she starts chewing my hair while looking at the sky still.

“What do you see?” she asks Milly.

“That” I say and see a large ship breaking through the clouds. “Look” I say to Ronica. “I am gonna head up there and fudge them up.” See? I didn't curse in front of my daughter. “But there is a chance that Milly may try and follow me. So I need you all to head inside and play that cartoon she loves. It should work for at least an hour.”

“Oh, god” Ronica moans. “I hate Kissyfur.”

“Kishfurd!” Milly shouts and reaches for Ronica. I hand her over and kiss her on the cheek.

“I'm sorry, okay?” I say. “Except for you, Zazz. You damned informer. I'm gonna throw you in the air twice as high next time.” I take Ronica's hand and kiss it. She pinches my lips and then kisses me. Milly laughs. Aimee gives me a foreign kiss in each cheek and I stare Zazz right in the eyes as she does. “I'll see you all soon.”

After everyone heads inside and I hear the familiar sounds of the Kissyfur theme begin to blare I clap my hands together and they begin to heat up. I stop immediately realizing I'm still wearing my hospital clothes. I zip upstairs through a window and grab some clothes. Black t-shirt with a giant JP in the center. Blue ripped jeans. Turquoise Converse because fuck these aliens for making me lose the first pair. I check my hair and head back outside. I heat up my hands again getting them hotter than they've ever been. I fly up towards the descending ship and take the deepest breath that I can, cup my hands to my face, and let loose the third loudest sound ever recorded in human history along with heat that is just above 1,100 degrees.

These aliens are gonna be super fucked.