We’ve all heard of ADHD, Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, but what exactly is it? How can you tell the difference between an actual disorder or the fact that you just haven’t raised your kids properly and now they are assholes that don’t know how to act in public? We’ve seen kids act a fool in stores and wondered why their parents didn’t give them five across the eye or said to ourselves “That kid is gonna get their ass whipped when they get home!”
The FDA has just approved a medical scan that can help tell if kids have ADHD and I can already smell the smoke from so many hands rubbing together so hard they burst into flames form the medical community. Oh, all the money’s will be made! A NEBA system will help confirm if a kid from age 6 to 17 has ADHD. I can only imagine what would’ve happened if they hooked this shit up to my head when I was a kid.
How would I describe myself as a kid? A very smart kid that did a lot of dumb shit because fuck it no one is watching. This machine will read brainwaves and then parents can finally breathe a sigh of relief knowing that it wasn’t the fact that they left their kid locked in the car when it was 109 outside and when they returned their kid was talking different. Did Dante always blink twice with his left eye? Doesn’t matter. NEBA says he got the ADHD.
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| "My kids are making me racist!" |
Studies say that 3 to 7 percent of kids have ADHD which would make you think it would combat the fact that so many kids are so goddamn fat. Cant be fat and always moving around, right? Here is a list of just some of the symptoms from the different versions of ADHD and where I fit in as a child.
