Showing posts with label Big Bag Of Nonsense. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Big Bag Of Nonsense. Show all posts
Saturday, September 1, 2012
Starfish Prime Happened
That is not a soft romantic glow from a beautiful sunset. That my friends is the radioactive glow from a nuclear weapon we fired into the sky decades ago because safety is for mothers and babies. Starfish Prime was a way for us to look god in the face and give him the finger. Now why exactly would we go around firing nuclear weapons into the sky?
“On July 9, 1962, at 09:00:09 Coordinated Universal Time the Starfish Prime test was successfully detonated at an altitude of 400 kilometers (250 mi). The coordinates of the detonation were 16 degrees, 28 minutes North latitude, 169 degrees, 38 minutes West longitude. The actual weapon yield was very close to the design yield, which has been described by various sources at different values in the range of 1.4 to 1.45 megatons.”
Now why was this really done? I'm still not sure. I know I never learned about this in school though. And probably for good reason. It was bad enough that every February I had to be shown pictures and watch films about how Black people got their shit jacked up during slavery. I'm sure that learning that our own government was exploding nuclear weapons above the sea would have pushed my crazy little ass over the edge. My brain is equipped for a certain amount of lunacy. This is outside of my range of comprehension.
"Starfish Prime caused an electromagnetic pulse (EMP) which was far larger than expected, so much larger that it drove much of the instrumentation off scale, causing great difficulty in getting accurate measurements. The Starfish Prime electromagnetic pulse also made those effects known to the public by causing electrical damage in Hawaii, about 1,445 kilometers (898 mi) away from the detonation point, knocking out about 300 streetlights, setting off numerous burglar alarms and damaging a telephone company microwave link. The EMP damage to the microwave link shut down telephone calls from Kauai to the other Hawaiian islands."
Larger than expected. I wonder how big a pulse they thought they'd get. What is the acceptable amount of fucked up? And don't think that because you haven't heard of this that the only damage occurred on that poor damned island. You have to give it to our government for being able to keep things on the down low when they really need to. Like bathing the public in death rays.
"While some of the energetic beta particles followed the Earth's magnetic field and illuminated the sky, other high-energy electrons became trapped and formed radiation belts around the earth. There was much uncertainty and debate about the composition, magnitude and potential adverse effects from this trapped radiation after the detonation. The weaponeers became quite worried when three satellites in low earth orbit were disabled. These man-made radiation belts eventually crippled one-third of all satellites in low earth orbit."
I think I'm gonna stop leaving the house.
Thursday, August 16, 2012
Dragons Need To Exist
I was talking to Andy recently at work about religion. Of course when you talk about religion you have to bring up the stuff that to people who aren't talk about. There are things that are described in the Bible that if you saw it on the news you'd be like “When did NBC become the Weekly World News?!” People rising from the dead better known as zombies, talking snakes like Kaa, and dragons.
“And there appeared another wonder in heaven; and behold a great red dragon, having seven heads and ten horns, and seven crowns upon his heads.” (Revelation 12:3)
That's right. Motherfucking dragons. In Revelations there is a point where a seven headed dragon shows up and starts wrecking shit. I know that they show up at the end of the world and its supposed to be an orgy of blood, fire, and death. Religious people get hard when preachers start talking about that kind of stuff. Me? I just want to see a dragon. I don't care that the world is falling apart and demons are running around bitch slapping toddlers because they haven't been saved. I need to see a dragon in my lifetime.
What is the worst that can happen if dragons are real? It turns out that all the believers were right? Good for them. I get to repent, say I believe in Jesus, and I'm just as safe as the rest of you maroons that have devoted your life to him. Isn't that an awesome loophole? “Man, there's no heaven or hell! What a crock of sh--oh, shit! Demons?! Is that Jesus...? Yep. Sure is. Oh, no here come the dragons! Did I say 'Oh, no'? I meant fuck, yes! There are dragons and I believe in Christ!” Done. I got to see a fire breathing beast that I have been told doesn't exist and I get to kick it in heaven doing god knows what. I'd make the angels sick of me in a few hours talking about dragons. “Are there different colored dragons? Do any of them breathe ice? Where do the dragons sleep? Can I have a dragon? Why cant I have a dragon? Hey, where are you taking me? Why is it so hot all of a sudden?”
The idea of dragons being real gets me, a grown ass man, far more excited than perhaps I should be. But I don’t care. We’ve already found out that Bigfoot is fake, unicorns never existed, and dinosaurs probably had feathers. I need dragons to exist at the risk of the fate of this planet. Then I read the next line, Revelation 12:4.
“The dragon stood in front of the woman who was about to give birth, so that it might devour her child the moment he was born.”
Well…shit.
“And there appeared another wonder in heaven; and behold a great red dragon, having seven heads and ten horns, and seven crowns upon his heads.” (Revelation 12:3)
That's right. Motherfucking dragons. In Revelations there is a point where a seven headed dragon shows up and starts wrecking shit. I know that they show up at the end of the world and its supposed to be an orgy of blood, fire, and death. Religious people get hard when preachers start talking about that kind of stuff. Me? I just want to see a dragon. I don't care that the world is falling apart and demons are running around bitch slapping toddlers because they haven't been saved. I need to see a dragon in my lifetime.
What is the worst that can happen if dragons are real? It turns out that all the believers were right? Good for them. I get to repent, say I believe in Jesus, and I'm just as safe as the rest of you maroons that have devoted your life to him. Isn't that an awesome loophole? “Man, there's no heaven or hell! What a crock of sh--oh, shit! Demons?! Is that Jesus...? Yep. Sure is. Oh, no here come the dragons! Did I say 'Oh, no'? I meant fuck, yes! There are dragons and I believe in Christ!” Done. I got to see a fire breathing beast that I have been told doesn't exist and I get to kick it in heaven doing god knows what. I'd make the angels sick of me in a few hours talking about dragons. “Are there different colored dragons? Do any of them breathe ice? Where do the dragons sleep? Can I have a dragon? Why cant I have a dragon? Hey, where are you taking me? Why is it so hot all of a sudden?”
The idea of dragons being real gets me, a grown ass man, far more excited than perhaps I should be. But I don’t care. We’ve already found out that Bigfoot is fake, unicorns never existed, and dinosaurs probably had feathers. I need dragons to exist at the risk of the fate of this planet. Then I read the next line, Revelation 12:4.
“The dragon stood in front of the woman who was about to give birth, so that it might devour her child the moment he was born.”
Well…shit.
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