Showing posts with label Bruce Lee. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Bruce Lee. Show all posts

Tuesday, January 20, 2015

Th3rd Strike


The King was dead. But he did not die the way we were all led to believe. He died defending our great nation from a small scale Martian attack. Small scale. As if there's such a thing when it comes to Martians. No. It is referred to as “small scale” due to the fact that only 83 lives were lost. Shortly after his death a new king would emerge. A reluctant king.

Martin Luther King.

Jr.

“I'm not sure about this, my brother” MLK said told me that faithful day. “If Elvis couldn't survive them damned Martians, what chance do I have?” I understood his lack of faith in this regard. Martians are a tricky lot. Sometimes they stood as large as skyscrapers, wiping out entire city blocks with a sweep of their hand. Other times they were the size of molecules disguising themselves as viruses.

“Elvis wasn't the only one, Martin” I told him. “There are others like you.” I pressed a small button hidden in my cuff-link and in entered the rest of the team. A legendary team whose efforts would be hidden from history until now.

Th3rd Strike.

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Dante Saves You: Enter The Dragon Edition


Remember that one time you got invited to that island to participate in a tournament where you and others from around the world had to compete against one another to see who was the best fighter in the world? Yeah, I don’t either. You know why? Because it didn‘t happen, you freak!

Enter The Dragon is considered one of the best films ever made involving Bruce Lee and people getting kicked in the face faster than they can blink. Poor O’Hara. That dude just didn’t know when to quit. You hit me in the face three times and then so hard I am stopped only by the people watching I bow and throw my wallet at you. I don’t need that level of stress in my life.

Poor son of a bitch.

In this Dante Saves You: Enter The Dragon Edition I will teach your dumb ass how to survive landing on this island. How did you get here anyway? I didn’t see you on the boat, you stowaway son of a bitch! Fine. You’re already here. Let’s kick some lip synced ass! And before you ask, no, I am not sharing any of my free hookers with you.