Adventures are nonsense. People are always trying to get me to go somewhere far and I don't wanna. I like being at home where I don't have to worry about things like animals, robots, or just the damned elements. Fuck the elements. Let's fuck the elements together in this Dante Saves You Survival Edition!
I am gonna teach you how to survive everything from planes, islands, water, cousin fuckin', and just good old fashioned bad decision making. This is not gonna be easy and a lot of you wont make it back. At least I'm honest...which is why I'll never go into politics. Yet. One day I will and you will all bow before me and my codpiece! Bwahahaha! Apologies. I got carried away. My magic codpiece does that to me.
I am gonna teach you how to survive everything from planes, islands, water, cousin fuckin', and just good old fashioned bad decision making. This is not gonna be easy and a lot of you wont make it back. At least I'm honest...which is why I'll never go into politics. Yet. One day I will and you will all bow before me and my codpiece! Bwahahaha! Apologies. I got carried away. My magic codpiece does that to me.
