Man Sues Over Sexy Super Bowl

Sometimes there are things I hear or read that make me question my testosterone levels. There is this dude that wants to sue because he is upset about the performance during halftime by Jennifer Lopez and Shakira. By the way this dude, Dave Daubenmire, is a Christian activist with a podcast. I saw most of the performance and I didn't even have a wiggle down there. Dave on the other hand is worried about his soul and the penises of those in his home. “Could I go into a courtroom and say, 'Viewing what you put on that screen put me in danger of hellfire'? Are we going to protect our children or not? Would that halftime show, would that have been rated PG? Were there any warnings that your 12-year-old son - whose hormones are just starting to operate - was there any warning that what he was going to see might cause him to get sexually excited?” Will someone please think of the children?!

I know after Janet Jackson blessed us sixteen years ago (yes, it was that damn long ago!) people are always worried about anything sexy happening during the performances. For those of you too young to remember Miss Jackson and Justin Timberlake performed and at the very end of the show he yanked her top and it opened up and there was lady nipple live on TV. Next thing you know the FCC cracks down on anything that would offend anyone. Don't worry about the fact that the NFL has close to 300 concussions per year. That's fine! But them asses shaking? Two asses?! At the same time?! That, my kind sir, is too much. Oh, and he wants to sue for $867 trillion. That is not even a real number. Just a weird dude looking for attention. “I'm looking for a lawyer to file a class action lawsuit against Pepsi, the NFL, my local cable company for pandering pornography, contributing to the delinquency of a minor.” If he considers that performance pornography he needs a good talking to. And did his son suddenly start wilding out after seeing this?

Dude, What The F**k?! 3

Last week I was talking to a friend about being around drunk dudes and how unpredictable they can be, particularly when sports are involved. I try not to be around it because to me there's nothing dumber than being drunk and fighting. Sean Fallon-Nebbia, 27, of New York does not share my views. Especially when you take into account he got drunk and bit his brothers ear off. Yep. That. Happened.

During a Super Bowl party where it seems like a lot of people lost their damned minds he and his brother were getting drunk and wrestling. His girlfriend said that they drank a bottle and a half of Southern Comfort and Jack Daniel's. Now, I have mixed these two things together myself and you know what happened? I laughed a lot and then later wanted to have sex with everything. What I didn't do was try and wrestle someone. Sean and Frank began to have a friendly game of grabass when shit took a turn for the worse.

Parents Failing Hard 12

What happens when you combine the state of Florida and bad parenting? Pimping your child, of course. That was a trick question since there's no other real answer. I wold have accepted incest or cannibalism. Meet 39 year old mother of multiple children but pimp of one Yolanda Ostolaza. She decided that while she was taking a one week trip to NYC for the Super Bowl that she might as well try and make some cash off of her 15 year old daughter.

The family that hooks together gets booked together.

When her dumb ass as arrested she told cops “We came up here to work and make money with a pimp. I knew it was for escorting and prostitution.” Then not satisfied with reaching a level of bad parenting not seen since frontier days she added “I thought my daughter was just going to do the fetish stuff.” Now “fetish stuff” can mean pretty much anything because that is a very vague term. It can mean anything from crushing dicks with heels to being spanked to even...