Conjoined Twins Make More Questions Than Answers

You have some weird ass conversations at 3am. I was with some coworkers and someone brought up the topic of those conjoined twins on TLC which really needs to replace the meaning of the L in their name. I'd seen these two before and heard their story. Their names are Abigail Loraine “Abby” Hensel and Brittany Lee Hensel. They are 25 years old and born connected in what appears to be a terribly uncomfortable position. I couldn't imagine being this close to another human being, but since they were born this way and know no others its different.

Abby (5'2”) and Brittany (4'10”) have two heads (of course), two spines that merge, each control an arm and a leg, one rib cage, two hearts, two stomachs, four lungs, one liver, three kidneys, one vagina, and one b-hole. See...now those last two would bother me. You can be sitting there watching your food intake because you like doing number two just once a day but your other half is shoveling Burger King into her mouth and making you go to the bathroom. Since you have control of one of the arms and legs you can decide to just not walk.

What People Care About This Week: Child Molester Josh Duggar

Scumbag Josh Duggar is a child molester. There are a lot of things that I think people can be rehabilitated from but this isn't one of them. If you have it in you to molest a kid you need to not breathe anymore. Josh is 27 years old and the oldest child of the Duggar family known for being scary Christian and their TLC show 19 Kids And Counting which debuted in 2008 when there were just 17 kids. I say “just” in the loosest of terms. No one needs to have that many goddamn children. Even when having a lot of kids was useful like in farm times and shit if you were a family that had that many kids the town would probably kill you.

Last Thursday he issued an apology via Facebook saying “Twelve years ago, as a young teenager I acted inexcusably for which I am extremely sorry and deeply regret. I hurt others, including my family and close friends. I confessed this to my parents who took several steps to help me address the situation. We spoke with the authorities where I confessed my wrongdoing and my parents arranged for me and those affected by my actions to receive counseling.”