You have some weird ass conversations
at 3am. I was with some coworkers and someone brought up the topic of
those conjoined twins on TLC which really needs to replace the
meaning of the L in their name. I'd seen these two before and heard
their story. Their names are Abigail Loraine “Abby” Hensel and
Brittany Lee Hensel. They are 25 years old and born connected in what
appears to be a terribly uncomfortable position. I couldn't imagine
being this close to another human being, but since they were born
this way and know no others its different.
Abby (5'2”) and Brittany (4'10”)
have two heads (of course), two spines that merge, each control an
arm and a leg, one rib cage, two hearts, two stomachs, four lungs,
one liver, three kidneys, one vagina, and one b-hole. See...now those
last two would bother me. You can be sitting there watching your food
intake because you like doing number two just once a day but your
other half is shoveling Burger King into her mouth and making you go
to the bathroom. Since you have control of one of the arms and legs
you can decide to just not walk.
These two made me realize that I'd be
an asshole conjoined twin.
I had so many questions while watching
these two and none of them are answered. The two of them like
different things and want to one day get married. That means both of
them would have to like the guy. But they are recognized as two
people so that means that only one of them could actually be married.
That also means that when they do have sex that the guy is officially
cheating even though they have one vajayjay. And how do I know they
are recognized as two people? Because they had to get separate
drivers licenses!
 |
| God save the person in their blind spot. |
The guy that taught them to drive was the bravest
man on Earth. These twins do not have the option to disagree. Abby wouldn't let Brittany marry someone she wasn't into. I just picture their lives being a series of compromise.
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