Earlier this evening I found out about a new way to get drunk. No, its not through your eyeballs or asshole. Sorry to disappoint you. Its through this thing/process called a Vaportini. Its like a bong for booze because for whatever reason humans keep needing new ways to get fucked up and it is also Spanish for “I hate being upright.” I have no problem drinking, having it work its way through my system, and then making bad decisions. The company that sells this says that drinks that are 70% proof or higher is better. For example, 86% hooch has 50% alcohol which means you’ll be on your way to acting like a completely different person in no time! Seriously, who likes being themselves?
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Vaportini is described as “5 minutes after the vessel containing the spirits is placed on the base, it is ready to consume. The recommended amount of spirits is 1 ounce. One inhales through the straw and holds their breathe for a moment and then exhales. That’s it. The effects are felt immediately because the alcohol is going directly through the bloodstream. Most people experience a relaxed and mellow feeling.”
