That Ain't Candy, Kids

A 30 year old mother by the name of Ashley R. Tull of Selbyville, Maryland is in trouble because she didn't check the bag she sent her child to school with. Tull sent her daughter to school with a different backpack because the dog had ruined it the previous night. Her daughter took the bag to school and upon opening it found a bunch of little bags. You see where this is going. Her daughter, thinking it was candy, started handing them out. Turns out they were bags of heroin. Red chicken. Diesel. Golden girl. Spider blue. Rihanna. Brown sugar. White nurse. Sanford & Son. Black tar. Number 8. Scat. Mud. Baba Booey. Witch hazel. You know what I'm talking about. Despite this she was not charged with possession or charged as a dealer. She was charged with maintaining drug property and three counts of child endangerment. She got out on $6,000 bail. That doesn't seem to be all that much money for having your kid take drugs to school (on accident) and handing it out to other kids. If they had eaten that shit this story would be all over the news. Be that as it may, I stumbled across this story and am still shocked that she didn't get charged with more stuff. Maybe heroin is cheaper than I think. Just checked online. Between $140-150 a gram and she had 3.735 grams. 

Yoga In Traffic

51 year old woman from Ocala, Florida named Michele Cernak decided that the best thing to do when she was high out of her mind was to do some yoga in the middle of the highway while wearing nothing but her draws. When the police showed up after a 911 call and checked her truck, that she was 10 feet away from, they found heroin and drug paraphernalia. They noticed that she was bleeding from the ankle. She told them that she was shooting heroin. She ended up being charged with three felonies and two misdemeanors and has a bond of $5000. You know, despite being a 51 year old heroin addict, this lady looks pretty good. Or maybe I'm just so used to seeing meth addict mugshots that ones with heroin look okay to me. I wouldn't expect a heroin addict to even get the idea into their head to leave the house let alone break out the yoga. I'd be mad if drugs made me active. I like to think that if I got stoned that I would just sit there and stare at the walls. Like how I do normally. Not exercising. 

Out of this whole thing I think what bothers me most is that she was doing yoga in her draws. You know good and damned well that if a chick is gonna be doing yoga she needs to be doing it in yoga pants. Preferably black but whatever. I don't like yoga, did it once and ruined my neck, but I love what women wear when they are doing it. Hell, they don't even have to do yoga for me to enjoy a chick in yoga pants. Next to plaid skirts these are the best things ever invented for women. I don't care about high heels. Expensive ass makeup. Hairstyles. Whatevers. Yoga pants. But sadly Ms. Cernak didn't have those on. She had draws. And was high on heroin. In traffic. In Florida. I don't care how hot a chick is a woman that gets high enough to do yoga in the middle of the street is just too much for me. I think. But if a chick looked great in yoga pants during the week and wore plaid skirts on weekends I'd deal with the whole being a junkie thing.