What in the Barney
Fife is this fresh batch of nonsense?! It has been a minute since
nature walked into my mental bathroom and kicked me while I was
shitting. I was on a friends FB page and saw an image of this creepy
ass thing called a humphead parrotfish and thought it was fake.
That
is the problem when nature decides to get real weird with it. The
shit don't look real. There are deer with fangs. Bats with huge
penises. Fur covered frogs. So when this decided to get out of a
Lovecraft dream and into my car I had to do some research. Much to my
dismay this is an actual thing that exists on the same planet as me.
You know what that feels like for me? Someone that rarely leaves the
house and almost never ventures into nature? I don't like it and I
don't think it is fair to me. How am I supposed to feel like the big
bad human man creature because I got thumbs when there is something
living in the water that shits sand? I ain't even lying! These things straight up make sand. Think I'm playing. 'Cause I'm not. I don't play when it comes to two things. Chicken and nature.
