The Coldest I've Ever Been

I am lucky enough to have been born in Los Angeles. I say lucky because the weather here is pretty damned consistent. We tend to stay in the 70's and 80's for weather even during the winter. It doesn't rain often which at the moment is biting us in the ass. My state is thirsty! There has been crazy ass weather all over the country and world. I have read on the east coast how it just keeps on snowing or from friends in Canada how crazy its been. Here is a view from my window at this moment.

Ta-daaaaaaaaaaa!

Its 71 degrees (22 Celsius to everyone else) and very nice. This is what its like in the dead of winter. Back when I was little it used to rain. It would rain for a few weeks straight and the streets would flood and everyone would complain. I didn't because I would always play in the rain. But there was an instance where it rained and I was so cold that I thought I was going to actually die. No joke. I thought that I'd never know what it was like to be warm again.

Stop Letting Old Folks Drive!

Enough is enough. Can we stop pretending that old ass people on the road is a perfectly natural thing? Because its not. And for anyone out there saying “My grandmother drove until she was 80!” you're a bad grandchild for making her do that. Plus, she'd still be 20 years younger than Preston Carter who is blaming his brakes for the fact that he plowed over eleven people including nine kids across the street from their school in Los Angeles.

I walk and take the bus everywhere and I know how bad old people are behind the wheel, let alone someone that was born a century ago! Think about that shit. I can live my life three times and still have a year left over to equal this dudes age. Everyone is expected to survive but a few of the kids are in critical condition. According to witnesses people started screaming and banging on his window for him to stop but he continued because old people have experience and no time for your bullshit, youngin'.

Rosscast Episode 177: Break 'Em In Half!

In this episode I talk about Mel Gibson losing his mind once again, goofy ass Whoopi Goldberg defending him as she hopes for a sequel to “Ghosts”, a service that will bike condoms to your house, this fucking Africa heat in Los Angeles, my weekend, my Grandmama’s funeral, and a long ass list of listener questions. Click here to download the show or click here to download and subscribe through iTunes. Enjoy!

Rosscast Episode 72: I Likes It Raw!

It's another listener question episode, folks! This time I talk about earthquakes, wearing your draws on the outside of yours clothes, what I think about chicks that watch porn, and what I like and dislike about humans. I also squeeze in some talk about the porn shop and why I wanted to beat someone over a cookie. Get your click on and download this and older Rosscast's. Enjoy!

Rosscast Episode 69: Most Unsexiest 69 Ever!

In this very I talk about Lamar Odom and his bad decision making, being a vengeful ass ghost to my friends, Roman Polanski and his drama, the terrible side effects of Abilify, and my weekend that included the Red Bull Soap Box Derby. Click here for this and older episodes for download. Enjoy!

This Is Where You Wanna Be!

"I'd move to Los Angeles if New Zealand and Australia were swallowed up by a tidal wave, if there was a bubonic plague in England and if the continent of Africa disappeared from some Martian attack." - Russell Crowe.

Fuck you, Russell.

I get so tired of people talking shit about California. The messed up thing is that most of the people that talk shit about my state are people from other states and the people they are talking about are people that weren’t even born in my state! Its like a circle of stupid.

My state rocks ass. You can drive in any direction for an hour or two and experience desert, beach, or snow. How many other places can say that? We have floods but its usually in rich ass places so it doesn’t count. Some people are like “Oh, you guys have earthquakes!” And? I would rather sit around and have my state squeeze out a 5.0 fart than know that my house is going to get blown away every single year. We get forest fires every year but don’t have any friends that live in a forest so its all good.

We have action. Have you ever seen our news? High speed chases, bitches. There is nothing like sitting at home bored and then all of a sudden there is breaking news and you have a free show for the next couple of hours. How will it end? Will he crash? Will he get shot? Will he do something crazy like blow his brains out on live TV? I don’t know! Either way I am glued to the screen and waiting for the next chase.

Not everyone in California is concerned with how they look and all materialistic. That shit is a myth that is constantly being perpetuated by people, like I said, that don’t come from here. They think its what they are supposed to do and just keep it going. People that are born and raised in California are special. We can spot bullshit from a mile away. We’re not like New Yorkers constantly bragging about how tough we are. We have a calm type of crazy. We know how dangerous our streets can be. The last thing we need to do is walk around bragging about how bad shit is some places. No one is sneaking into South Carolina. Hmm. Maybe that isn’t something to brag about.

I can give you a list of places to go if you ever decide to visit my state. Fuck that. My city. If you’re ever in L.A here are some places to go.

1. Hollywood. Just to say you went. Nothing there but tourist traps and weirdoes. It is way dirtier than it seems on TV. And its really short. If you know where to look you can find some cool little shops to grab some stuff at.

2. Venice Beach/Santa Monica Pier/3rd Street Promenade. You can start at 3rd Street and make your way down to the Pier and mosey on over to Venice. Lots of things to see, a cool beach, and lots of folks looking really good or really bad.

3. Chinatown/Little Tokyo. Lots of cool shit to check out. They have some awesome places to eat and cool shops where everything is cheap.
4. Sunset. Sunset is cool if you have money to waste. I don’t so I only ride the bus on Sunset. Just take that bus to Westwood or stay on the bus and head to the beach. Yes, you can take a bus from Downtown L.A all the way to the beach in an hour. Cool, huh?

5. South Central. People talk shit about what is now known as “South L.A” but if you know where to go you can find some really cool places to shop. The best food is in or near the worst neighborhoods. Burgers so greasy you can see them through the bag. Ribs that will raise your blood pressure. I miss living in South Central just for the food alone.

Hope that helps you out some. L.A isn’t as glamorous as it seems on TV but its still cool. I love my city and state and never want to leave. You can keep your tornadoes, floods, snow storms, hurricanes, black ice, and volcanoes. I love L.A.

Rockets.