To me going into the ocean is like saying “Whatevs…” to life. It’s a deep, wet, hell on Earth that for whatever reason we keep dipping our toes into. There have been a number of shark attacks and sightings on beaches and people are acting shocked. There’s that saying “You mess with the bull you get the horns.” Well, if you go into the ocean you will get eaten by something. Look at this picture that has been floating around since last week where this kayaker was being followed by a shark in Cape Cod.
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| FML. |
“I looked behind me and that's when I saw the shark, it was pretty much right there, I got a glimpse of it. It was a good size and it had a fin sticking out, so I just turned and paddled” Szulc said in between thanking a Jesus he didn’t believe in minutes before and simultaneously shitting and vomiting. That’s what I’m guessing happened. Sharks are something we should be talking about in the past tense. “Hey, remember those giant monsters with hundreds of teeth and cold dead eyes that use to be on the planet? No, not Gwyneth Paltrow!”
