Best Christmas Gifts Of Dante's Childhood

I was looking through my blogs for Christmas things I had written about and discovered that my negative ass had never made a list of toys that were my favorite as a kid. I had done one of the worst toys (click here to read that) but not the things I got that made me dance like an idiot when I opened them.

It took me a minute to figure out which ones to choose since there were a bunch. With these I am going based on the shock factor involved and how much excitement I had after getting it. Like, I can't use when I got a Nintendo as a choice since that required so much pain with dealing with getting a crumby ass Sega first. So allow me to present to you Best Christmas Gifts Of Dante's Childhood!

Worst Christmas Gifts Of Dante's Childhood

It’s the holiday season and when I think of holidays I think of family. And when I think of family I think of being disappointed. So I decided to make a list of the Worst Christmas Gifts I ever received. Yeah, I know all that nonsense about the spirit of giving and it being Jay-Zus’ birthday, but whatevs. Chrsitmas was all about bugging the fuck out of my mother until she snapped and screamed “Open your goddamn stuff!” I don’t know about you, but nothing says the holidays better than having your mother take the Lord’s name in vain at 5a.m!

Laser Tag. Me and my brother each received a Laser tag set. The set included a gun and a sensor that let you know when you got hit. The only bad thing about this was that he never wanted to play with his damned Laser Tag so I was forced to just shoot myself in the chest or shoot at the mirror setting the sensor off. Made me realize that the best gift for a child with a lazy brother was one that you could play with by yourself. Well, my brother wasn’t lazy. I just don’t think he liked me that much. I remember driving the neighbors dog fucking bonkers because of the beeping sounds it made when you were shot.