Friday, May 18, 2012

Words With Dante


There are certain words I don’t like for a multitude of reasons. Some are words that are too difficult to write and others are just stupid sounding to me. You should know by now which words I enjoy because no matter how much I sit here and type there are words you will continuously see from me. Click here to see some of them.

Below is a list of some words that make me squint in annoyance or just flat out bug the shit out of me. Hopefully you wont expect to find logic in these because, well, this is me we’re talking about.

Environment. Thank god for spell check because this fucking word is stupid. I end up typing it as “Inviroment” because fuck it. I don’t care about it so why bother learning to spell it properly? Does anyone even pronounce the “N” in that word?

Polio. This is a stupid misleading word because it sounds way more fun than it is. It’s a poop to mouth related disease that can make all kinds of nonsense happen to your body. If you said to me “Hey, Dante. Wanna do some polio?” I’d likely say yes. Next thing you know the right side of my body doesn’t match the left.

Interesting. This makes my list because it’s a lying ass word. “Oh, that was interesting” is said by people who don’t want to be mean. If you call me interesting I’ll take three years from your life in soul points.

Vaginal. Ew. Just…ew. Adding that extra “L” to the end of vagina for whatever reason just makes it wrong. You cant say to someone “Do you want to have vaginal intercourse?” without grossing them out. I think you’re more likely to get a positive response if you said “Hey. Me. You. Butt sex.

Exotic. This is used to tell someone that you want to fuck them but you’re not quite sure where they are from and if that place has diseases you haven’t had shots for yet or whether or not its cool to bring them around your family. Usually chicks with Asian looking eyes that aren’t even kinda Asian get this one.

Government. Another case of the “N” fucking me over. No one pronounces it but if you leave it out the computer gets upset. If someone did pronounce it the way its spelled they’re in all likelihood a dick and you shouldn’t be talking to them.

Predominantly. I hate this because the people who say it most are the ones who probably cant spell it. Also, its only followed by one word. Black. No one says “Oh, this place is predominantly Hawaiian.

Chauvinist. Again, the ones who use it cant spell it. And its always followed by “male” or “pig.

FYI. Fuck you if you use this. Its never cool to say this out loud. The last time someone said this to me my brain actually shorted. I couldn’t believe that not only did someone think this in their head, but that they used all the magical muscles in their throat and face to make it leave their lips. It takes just as much time to say “For your information.” But then again, if you’re even saying that sentence you’re talking to someone who doesn’t like you. Saying this to me is like playing Sade around me.

No comments: