Sunday, January 15, 2017

No Jacking In Jacksonville

I am a man of loose morality. I have openly said that if you can't get any ass from your spouse that you should get it somewhere else and in the same breath proclaimed that people that spit in the streets should be shot on sight. I sometimes ask myself “Who does it hurt?” like in this case where a 70 year old lady was arrest at a massage parlor for wanting to jerk an undercover cop off. Her name is Sun Hee Nmn. I'll just call her Sunny for the rest of this. 

Sunny gave this cop a $70 massage which seems like a lot of money and as if I should be charging some women back pay in my personal life. When finished she asked if he would like to have an even better day for $60 more. Little did she know that he was a park of Jacksonville's let's stop adults from making each other feel better sting and she was arrested for prostitution and being an unlicensed massage therapist. Like you need a license to rub somebody.

The name of the parlor, Jax Therapy which I am not making up, had been under investigation for prostitution. Sunny was released after posting $4,000 bond and really that is all that matters. No one gives a fuck if two adults are making each other come. Well, one adult making the other come. Sounds like a marriage to me. If one or both of them were teens or kids, sure, jail time for someone. But if I could walk into a place and get a rub and tug for about a hundred dollars I would consider this the greatest country in the world. Many comedians have put it this way but let me try to explain to you how silly this all sounds.

Let's say you go out to dinner with someone. You pay for a meal and a movie. In this current economical landscape you're looking at close to $70 right there if you are not even trying to be impressive. I'm talking about a good meal and the Arclight in Hollywood. At the end of this chances are you'll get a hug and maybe a kiss. You know what's better than a hug and a kiss? Getting a massage and your dick touched. The only guys that take girls out and pay for everything with no expectations of anything more are suckers, fools, losers, and Dante. But if I am a normal dude that gets ass on the regular I fully expect some action because I just fed and entertained you. Is that wrong? Who cares? Its my blog. Bill Burr once read an email from a female listener where she said that a guy paying for dinner and a movie was just par for course and he pointed out that if he wants a free meal he has to win a contest. When I go out with my friends they will pay for the meal and I'll get everything else or vice versa. Its a battle. But if I am dating someone its like “You better enjoy that burger because your ass is dessert.” Let's add this to the reasons why I'm single.

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