Booger Sugar In Nature Valley Bar

This lady named Cynthia Rodriguez of San Antonio, Texas got the surprise of a lifetime when she opened up a Nature Valley bar. No, not a cash prize like she assumed but a small bag of cocaine. She was enjoying what could be described as possibly the hardest snack on the planet when the drogas fell out. 

She called General Mills Inc. all excited thinking she had won something. They told her to call the police and after some investigation (and probably some mad parties) they told her that it was cocaine. A spokesperson for GM said that the bar wasn't packaged at their facility and would not say which one it was. Probably the one with the employees that never take lunch breaks and refuse to stop talking about all the great ideas they have for new products. Like cocaine flavored Nature Valley bars.  

Hater Ruins Awesome Birthday

This is the picture of a hater. Look at this guy. Antonia Flores Narcisso, 42, of San Antonio, Texas was arrested for attacking his roommate that was celebrating his 35th birthday. Was he mad that he didn't get no cake? Well, yes. In a sense. You see, Antonio was mad that his roommate was making too much noise while having sex with two women. According to reports he kicked down the door and complained about the noise and his roommate told him to get out of the room because he was getting his bang on. Antonio didn't like that so he got a knife from the kitchen (as opposed to those awesome bathroom blades) and stabbed him in the head, back, and hands. He went to the hospital and the women were able to pick Antonio from a lineup. This happened in May and he was just arrested. He was charged with burglary of a habitation with the intent to commit felony force. Or just being a hater. The roommate is fine now but has either the best or worst birthday story depending on how you look at it.