My Current Jam: Serena Williams

Serena Williams is 5 foot 9 and 155lbs. of hot chocolate. She was born in Saginaw, Michigan and moved to Compton when she was little and started practicing tennis by the age of 3. Know I was doing at 3? Watching game shows and knowing how to read. She has won twenty one Grand Slam titles, thirteen in doubles, two in mixed doubles, and four Olympic gold medals. She is 34 years old (very much in my dating age bracket) and the oldest ranking female tennis player to be number one. She is one of those people that seems like she can not not be a champion or strive to be but she also seems fun as fuck.

Surprise Boners

There are certain actresses that for whatever reason suddenly flip the script on my ass. Like, one second they are just there doing what they do and all of a sudden I like them. The earliest example I have of this happening is with Alicia Silverstone from The Crush. I remember watching this with my friend when we were maybe 14 years old. I knew who she was from small parts on TV shows and her face bugged me. But while watching this movie something changed.

Pictured: Black man kryptonite!

There is a scene where she is riding a horse and being an asshole. The movie is about a crazy ass chick that messes with an older man then goes bananas. Great movie. So anyhoot, she is riding a horse and wearing this outfit and suddenly I grew hair in new places. I was like “Man, I can't stand her with her stupid beautiful hair, cute crooked smile, and legs that won't quit. Wait. What?”