Five Things I Learned Living In West Hollywood

I have now lived in the city of West Hollywood for almost as long as I lived in Los Angeles and honestly that thought is kinda depressing. I first moved her and lived with my ex girlfriend and her family when I was 18 and a few months out of high school. The plan was to stay maybe a year or so while working and then in a year or so get my own place back in Los Angeles. Obviously that didn't happen.

Over all these years here I've learned quite a few things about this city, the people, and its culture. I'm gonna talk about a few of them in this Five Things I Learned Living In West Hollywood. Some of these may seem obvious to some of you reading this but growing up where I did and how I did this stuff caught my ass by surprise.

Dante's Beat Up Ass Ceiling

For the past week I’ve been bitching about my raggedy ass ceiling. Monday morning I woke up and went to get a bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch because I’m a grown ass man and can eat whatever the fuck I want. I look at the ceiling and it was closer to me than it was the previous night. “That’s not good…” I said aloud and called the owner’s sister who kinda sorta has something to do with getting shit fixed. It had a crack in it for years and I never got it repaired because whenever they “fix” something in my place they make something else worse.

I was talking to a friend when I heard a crack and slam which is also what I call it when I have sex. I called my building people again and told them that shit was getting real and I didn’t want to come home from work with an extra apartment in my kitchen. She huffed and puffed like I was calling about a leaking faucet. She said someone would come to check it out. The next day the building manager looked at it, made some sounds, and said someone would be coming Wednesday. What the fuck?

West Hollywood Parade 2009

Rosscast Episode 60: Saturday Night Fevuh!

In this mellow episode I talk about cruisers being run over, my latest story, stinky folks on buses, people being pushed out of cars, and useless 911 calls. Remember to download this and older episodes just click this link. Enjoy!

"Crushed"

Yeah, so the other day a cruiser got ran over across the street from me.

Here was the plan for the day. I would wait for Jess to get here (hello, babe!). We’d head out to Griffith to hang at the Observatory and eat dinner. A good spaghetti with some garlic bread Jess got. It was gonna be awesome. Then we were gonna head over to Purple Panther tattoo to hang with Ikuko. Things didn’t go as planned.

As soon as Jess got here this dude gets run over.

He was sitting on the curb across the street where the meters are. Cruisers hang out there all day and night. Actually, as soon as the cops and ambulances left they were back to selling their asses. Jess comes upstairs and she is already calling 911. She actually saw it all happen. I jumped up when I heard the shouting so I missed the first few seconds of it.

This is what happened. A guy, obviously drunk, pulled out of the bar and for no reason started backing up. He backed over the guy, stopped, backed up a little more as he looked around like “What’s everyone screaming about?” He pulled forward and jumped out. Hmm. He “stumbled” out and walked over like he bumped into a fence or something.

All these people were gathering and the dude in the yellow shirt was shouting at the driver who was acting like it wasn’t such a big deal. The cops took forever to show up. Then finally an ambulance and a fire truck (because they always send a fire truck) showed up. The guy was rolling on the ground and kinda twisted up. Jess was shaken by it. I wasn’t. I’ve seen worse (Alex knows what I’m talking about) and for as stupid as the drunk driver was this guy shouldn’t have been sitting on the curb.

Me and Jess were watching from the window when a cop spotted us and asked if we called. Jess said yes and we told him what we knew. The driver’s boys were trying to defend him and saying that the guy was trying to scam the driver. I acknowledge that the guy who got crushed is a cruiser in the area. I have been seeing him and his boys all week. But that doesn’t mean you have free reign to run over whoever you please because you don’t like how they live.

After talking to the cops and watching the drama we ate and then headed to the Observatory. It was a nice night out. The air was cool up there and we sat and talked a bit. Jess dozed off at some point while we overlooked the city. I demand a do over for yesterday. Because if all that silliness hadn’t happened the night would have been way cooler.

Oh, and Ikuko never answered her phone and we didn’t see her at the shop.

Rockets.

Rosscast Episode 22: My 'Hood!

In this episode I discuss living in my strange ass neighborhood and what makes it so special. I also throw in some talk about fisting so you probably shouldn't listen to this at work or around yur grandmother with a weak heart. Enjoy!