Saturday, January 12, 2013

Dante And The N-Word


“Who be ridin' up in the highrise elevator other tenants who be prayin' they ain't the new neighbor? Mr Nigga. Nigga nigga.” - Mos Def

My name is Dante and I don't use the n-word. Its been coming up a lot lately because of that terribly overrated ass film Django Unchained. Now, when I was little not that many people said the n-word. Only aggressive hobos, ignorant old Black men or that 'hood ass woman that was just mad at the world because she was a 32 year old grandmother. It wasn't peppered throughout my childhood. Maybe its a locational (not a real word) thing. I grew up in South Central Los Angeles and you'd think that I wouldn't have been able to step three feet without hearing it but I didn't.

Nowadays even little kids run around saying that shit. Its just a part of folks vocabulary. It just never caught on with me. When I hear people say it my brain skips. In songs I hear it all the time and there are only a few words that rhyme with it. Words like trigger, figure, and bigger. What's funny is when almost all rappers are asked who the best rapper alive is they say Eminem, a White rapper who I personally have never heard use the n-word.

Strangely enough, the people I know personally that use the word most are not Black. Not even kinda Black. They hang around lots of Black people and feel that since they have said it around them and not gotten their asses kicked that it is cool for them to say it. I have had people ask me why Black people get upset at the word and I know they are just being cute...meaning stupid. You know good and goddamn well why Black people get upset when that word is used. I tell people that I don't get mad at the word but I totally understand why many do. That word has a history and if you don't know it you probably shouldn't be running around saying it. Those same friends that “allow” you to say it around them? If you tried that in public and some Black person you don't know heard you and wanted to kick your ass, your friends would only defend you out of guilt.

"The fuck did she just say...?!"

People know when they use the word that they shouldn't. If you have to check the room before speaking you're aware that you are about to participate in some shady shit. Like, I curse. I started when I was 22 and began peppering my language with shit I don't say in front of certain people. I'm not a fan of my parents and the worst thing I said in front of them was “ass.” Why? Because sometimes you need to not say certain things.

There are some friends I have that are Black that I never hear say the n-word and when I do I'm kind of let down like “Not you, too...” I, for whatever reason, just don't see myself rolling with people that throw that word around. Not that I expect everyone to live to my standards. I mean, it would be nice, but not realistic. Every girl I know would wear red draws, flash me their legs, and love Fruity Pebbles if that were the case.

My favorite is when people say “It’s just a word!” Yeah, so is “love.” Some say that stupid “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” As an adult you grow up knowing that’s bullshit. If words didn’t hurt therapists offices would be damned near empty. People used the n-word to demean and hurt people and they still do till this day. Saying you’re taking the power out of it by using it has been said for years and that shit still makes no sense to me. Your one man crusade failed before it started. I’ve lived in West Hollywood for over 15 years and gays hate the word “fag” but when they start fighting it’s the first word to jump out of their mouth.

This honestly needs no caption.

I’m not on a mission to make people stop using the word. You have the Amendments and the fact that you have a voice and mouth and whatever nonsense you want to spew can and will come out. But just so everyone knows, if you call me that in anger with the intention of being an asshole, I’ll drop you Mandingo style. Don’t be cunty. Don’t use words you know are meant to hurt people. And don’t use the word as a term of endearment. I’m not and never will be anyone’s nigga.

3 comments:

Hoozle said...

Well, I just lost about ten minutes worth of my thoughts and general nonsense. Bugger, anyway. Note to self: Do not hit the CLOSE WINDOW button before publishing the comment. Sigh.

Speaking as an Irish/European person, the 'n' word controversy is a difficult one to understand. Don't get me wrong, neither I nor anyone I have any time for would use the word casually or in anger. It's on a par with 'cunt'. However, by comparison, the taboo that exists in the US about it is intense. And so it should be, I guess, in a country which had institutionalized slavery relatively recently and even within living memory legally denied Americans basic rights on the basis of race. America's race relations are the worst in the western world and I guess it makes sense that the 'n' word is such an anathema to many there.

Still, I'm suspicious of any interference with the words people choose to use. Sure, I believe the right to free speech should not be abused by free use of the 'n' word. But, it's ridiculous that its use in a movie about American slavery would be controversial. In context, it's a useful tool to show how disgusting and demeaning slavery is. I haven't seen Django yet so I may be misunderstanding the controversy but I doubt Tarantino put that word in the mouth of anyone we are supposed to cheer.

As for Black people using the word, I admit it triggers a racist reaction in me in that I assume that the guy (and it's usually a guy) is an ignorant fool who has learned most of what he knows about life from gangsta rap. Although it's not that racist a reaction from me when I actually assume the same about most non-Black person I meet using the word.

What about people who would use the word if it was more acceptable socially? I have friends in New York who, unfortunately, would never say 'nigger', but they sure as hell think nigger. One of those friends was telling me about how one of the local neighbourhoods had been predominantly Asian up to the 70s, but then was 'overrun', and it was quite clear from what he was saying that he viewed the Black people who moved in as a horde of animals. He has individual Black friends, I should point out. He would never, ever say the 'n' word to them, or to his White friends, but I'm pretty sure he views most Black people that way.

I dunno, I just get so sick of this kind of bullshit. I feel disappointed in people in the same way as you do when I hear guy friends of mine referring to women as bitches. Not as in 'She's horrible, such a bitch', which is fine if she really is horrible, but in the other sense. It's just like 'really? You really think that demeaning word is ok?'. It makes me see people differently. Ah well. We're all asses in our own ways, I guess.

Dante said...

Someone pointed out the use of the word cunt on my Facebook page since at the end of the article I wrote “don’t be cunty.” The word cunt has been making its way into American vernacular. The word “cunty” is a word I got from a podcast and laughed my ass off at as it was used to describe a type of behavior. Its not bitchy. Its past bitchy. Its when someone is being a dick for no real reason and mean spirited. I just saw “Lincoln” so now the use of the n-word is bouncing around in my head. Its said a few times.

The problem many had, I didn’t, with the use of the word in “Django Unchained” was that Tarantino wrote it and has been very liberal with the use of the word in previous movies of his. In this one he just used it over 100 times according to counts made. People remember his “dead nigger storage” line from “Pulp Fiction.” People have defended it by saying it was used a lot back then. I think the film was just crap.

One of the biggest problems I have with the word is that people know what reaction it gets and pretend to act surprised when folks get upset. Or they use it in secret. Listen to that song I quoted at the start and it points out a lot of examples of the word being used and how Blacks are viewed in different aspects of society. I’m sure it wont reveal anything you don’t already know.

As for people who would use the word if it were more socially acceptable, I’m trying to figure out who those people would be. I know in a stand up Louis CK uses it quite a bit but its an act and its funny the way he presents the use of the word. People who use the word against people are just sad assholes to me. When people say a place is overrun with Blacks I laugh as if there aren’t other parts of the world where it is mostly another race. You cant go to Compton and be shocked there are so many Blacks.

As for the word bitch, I use it in my Bitches Be Crazy segment when it applies. I don’t refer to women as bitches and hoes because I know better and would never want to associate with or like any woman that is proud to be referred to as one the same I don’t want to be pals with a Black person that is proud to be called the n-word.

Hoozle said...

The word 'cunt' doesn't really bother me, I don't know why as it seems to really bother a lot of people. I guess because I grew up with it understanding it to be a really horrible insult to anyone, not specifically to women, which it seems to be in America. If you've seen the film Gangster No 1 with Paul Bettany and Malcolm McDowell (and if you haven't, don't bother, it's terrible) then that's how I understand how the word is used. I guess I can understand why people are offended by it the way it's used in the US, but like everything, it's context.

I remember laughing my head off at that line in Pulp Fiction when I saw it in the cinema -nearly 20 years ago! Oh boy, I'm getting old. The whole film was so fresh and brash and vulgar. The line didn't stand out to me though, because we don't have that taboo here I guess. It was just another shocking use of a vulgar word. Remember what a breath of fresh air Tarantino was back then? Reservoir Dogs played for several years in my local cinema on Friday nights because it was banned on DVD due to violence for a long time (and possibly still is, I must check, out of curiousity). People used show up at the cinema dressed like the characters. Nobody really uses the phrase 'motherfucker' in Ireland but when we do, it's always Julius's line 'That's right...Bad Motherfucker'. Heh heh.

Yeah, that song captures exactly what I find most offensive - that unspoken dismissal of someone. I dislike that far more in my friend than if he was stupid enough to actually say the 'n' word. he's too much of a coward to say exactly what he thinks because he knows most of us would react very badly if he explicitly said what he thinks. Either way, it's not good. Ah well. If the 'n' word was socially acceptable, we'd be living in a much more horrible world, but at least the people who think it and don't say it would be shown up for who they are far more easily.

I love your Bitches Be Crazy segment. I don't think I've ever heard you refer to the women in the stories as being bitches, you usually crack up laughing and say 'these women, I swear!'. If you ever have said 'These bitches, I swear', I don't remember as I wouldn't take it too seriously because I know you don't think 'bitch' or 'ho'. That would be a different Dante.