Friday, September 2, 2016

Booty Spray For Fools

People like big butts. Its usually guys that get pegged with this love of big butts when for the most part a guy just wants someone that is nice to them. I can feel the amount of eyes rolling but thankfully its not that many because folks don't read this shit. 

In this case I am gonna put the blame squarely on the shoulders of insecure ladies. I can do without a big ass. I have had girlfriends that had negative ass and ones that had ones so nice I almost proposed to them. Nowadays women are running around either wearing draws with fake asses, getting implants, or getting injections.

Or booty spray.

I first heard of this product called Apex Vitality Booty Pop after reading about Blac Chyna getting dragged through the mud for endorsing it. I Googled “fake ass” and the second image to pop up was her butt looking eleven kinds of strange. Her as are as real as my honest intentions with your 25 year old daughter. I had to go to a “review” for this Apex product and see what the hell it was exactly.

“Apex Vitality Booty Pop has a very silky texture and gets absorbed in a very few second. Just spray it directly on your hips and massage it gently until it is absorbed into the skin of your hips. In the first few day the area over there will start to look smooth and soft and before you know it your hips will plump in the shape you have wanted them to be. To sustain the results for forever, I would advise you to continue applying this cream for maximum 60 days.”

It also says that the results are permanent so you can live with this terrible mistake that you've made. Now you may be asking yourself what does this product contain that can do such marvelous things like give you a big ol' Black girl ass?! Does it have a special spice that makes you want to go do squats? Nope. It has soy protein that will allegedly tone your hip muscles. Yeah...but no. It has macadamia seed oil which is supposed to “ stimulates your pituitary gland to raise the level of estrogen that helps to give volume to your overall butt.” The fuck? It also has vitamin E and green tea because as we all know, that is the true key to having a big ass.

People, this is just not worth it. Best case scenario, you waste your money on this spray and walk around with animals sniffing your ass because you smell like food products. Worse case, your ass just falls right off your body. I don't know why people are still holding onto this big ass craze. Let it go away and comes back in twenty years the way fads are supposed to. Remember when being super skinny was a thing? Some people are still playing by those rules. Guys get blamed for this stuff till this day. Look at the women that win those lists that are done every year. They tend to look as regular as a celebrity can. I mean, Jennifer Aniston won this year and she has never been a bombshell. No matter what your ass looks like there are men that want to do things to it that you'll lie and say you've never done and don't want done to it. Stop putting food on it.  

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