Dante Singing In The Car

Yesterday while traveling with Heidi she was playing lots of songs. "Poison" by Bell Biv Devoe came on and I couldn't control myself. This is the result. And a warning to never travel with me.

Rosscast Episode 209: New Year's Evolution

In this end of the year episode I talk about my week, a show no one will ever hear I recorded, hanging with friends, my diet, a woman who attacked a cop with a dildo, a guy who shot his wife during sex, and guy who got hit by a car playing real life “Frogger”, and my lack of resolutions. Click here to download this and older episodes of the Rosscast. Enjoy!

Rosscast Episode 176: Babblefest

In this stretched out ass episode I talk about a death in my family, religion, food, how busy my last weekend was, and I answer a bunch of listener questions like what my favorite sugar is, seeing ex’s with new people, and whether or not I can make Rice Krispy Treats. Click here to download this episode and click here to download and subscribe through iTunes. Enjoy!

Rosscast Episode 162: Table For One

Rosscast Episode 162

The Rosscast

In this episode I go over some yahoo dating advice like the 19 things you should not say to your single friends unless you wanna get smacked and for the ladies the ten reasons why a guy isn’t approaching your ass. Figuratively and literally. I also discuss my week, my tattoo, and why I am a very approachable person, damn it! Click here to download this and old ass episodes or click here to download and subscribe through iTunes. Enjoy!

The Rise And Fall Of Man

Like I've mentioned before, I know a lot of people that do creative or funny things. Allow me to introduce you to Josh Smith. Not only is he a comedian, not only is he a poet, but he also has a podcast! Check him out. Subscribe. Whatever. If I like him you should too.
http://thinktwiceradio.com/josh-smith/josh-smith.html
http://www.youtube.com/user/JoshSmithPoetry

Rosscast Episode 100: It's Always The Quiet Ones...

Holy shit! Did I really just record my 100th episode of The Rosscast?! Yes, I did!In this episode I answer a ton of listener questions, talk about trying to date like a normal person, sex, what porn I like, and a ton of other shit. I seriously cant name it all here. Thanks to everyone that has listened or spread the word about my Rosscast! Click here to download this and older shows. Enjoy!

Rosscast Episode 79: Who The Hell Is Dante?!

In this episode I give some random information about myself to old friends and new listeners. I talk about my brothers and sister, my relationships with my friends, explain what Dantania is, answer some listener questions, and other random psychobabble. Click here to download this and older episodes. Enjoy!

Rosscast Episode 77: I'm Drunk...

My, word! This episode is so all over the place I dont know where to begin! Its starring me and Julie as my co-host for the day. We talk about everything from "Oz", dating, bad kissers, dating etiquette, drinking, movies and spoilers, and other randomness. I get drunker as the show comes to an screechinh halt for chicken. Remember to click here to download this and older episodes. Thanks to Julie for making this one of the craziest Rosscast ever! Enjoy!

Rosscast Episode 71: Is Gay The New Nerd?

In this episode I welcomed not one, but two guests! Two former schoolmates, RJ and Julie, joined me for an episode of the Rosscast that was too damned fun. We talk about everything from school, community college, prison, the law, why I'll never be a dictator, and try to figure out what's the new nerd? Click this link to download this and older episodes. I wanna thank RJ and Julie for making this one of my favorite episodes to edit. Enjoy!

Rosscast Episode 37: Get In My Belly!

In this episode I discuss Uno, eating sushi (dont be nasty!), having friends in relationships, dogs licking your face, getting turned down for craptacular jobs, and what to do if you're a complaining ass person. Enjoy!

Rosscast Episode 29: Yay Mediocrity!

In this episode I talk about being in a relationship while having friends of the opposite sex. I also scream about Hollywood and their continuous raping of my childhood by making films like G.I Joe and Transformers. I get on the topic of Megan Fox and my hatred of Shia LeBouf. Enjoy!

Tattoos, Thai, & Travelling

So I had fun today. After reading, listening to podcasts, painting, and talking on the phone, I waited for my best friend/sister Cam to arrive. We were headed to get a tattoo for her. No, I haven’t gotten one yet. I was gonna stay with her while my other friend Ikuko gave her one. I’m sure it will look awesome when its done.

We get to Purple Panther and Ikuko and Cam finally meet after all the back and forth and phone calls to set this up. Cam shows her what she wants and they discuss it. Time to get a tattoo, right? No. By the time we got there and tried to cross the street during busy ass Sunset Blvd. traffic some dude was already there and Ikuko was working on him. Damn it. So we are heading back tomorrow night to get it done.

Next we went to Toi, this Thai place. Sorry. Rockin’ Thai. The place looked really cool! It was right across the street from Ikuko’s job. We got a good seat and I got the chicken pad see ew and of course a Thai iced tea. I tend to get this meal whenever I go to a Thai place for the first time. If they cant get this right then ordering a more complex meal ain’t happening.

The food was great! And huge! That was the most pad see ew I ever got. We shared our meals and I still have enough for two more meals. This is me pleased. Did I mention that they were playing an old The Who concert while we ate? Oh, before we went there we headed to Meltdown Comics and looked at stuff. I miss the days of going to a comic shop and being excited. Now I just look around like “What the hell is all this crap?” Nothing grabs me the way it used to comic book wise. Everything seems unoriginal and rehashed. Once I saw a “Greatest American Hero” comic book I knew it was time to go.

We began a search for the perfect comforter for Cam at one of my ex’s old jobs. Some of her old co-workers were there and looked at me like I was a ghost. It was funny. Cam found some towels but not a comforter. I saw some cheap curtains I will have to head back there for eventually. Meaning when I start working. We then headed to Cost Plus World Market. I had to talk Cam out of buying a damn near $50 pillow. They have a lot of cool stuff at that place. I had seen it a hundred times but never went in there. I add it to my list of places to buy random shit like cool popcorn buckets and odd spices. Oh, and on Fairfax we got stuck in traffic after this Armenian protest. I'm actually not sure if it were a protest of a parade. I actually thought it was a celebration of soccer with all the flags I saw.

We finally headed to Cam’s place and watched this cool ass Russian film called “Night Watch.” I cant even begin to explain what this film is about exactly. Just look it up because whatever I tell you about it will just sound strange and I might talk you out of seeing it. So, yeah. I had a cool day with my sister and all is right with the world. Now only if my girlfriend would get her ass home and give me a call…

Rockets.

Easter 2009 Was Super Fine

So Easter kicked ass. Yeah, I know how weird that sentence sounds. I really enjoyed the holiday. Easter has tended to be a left out holiday on my part. The only one that really stands out was one years ago where I ripped my ugly ass shirt on a bathroom stall and had to hold my shirt closed the rest of the day. I think this is the underlying reason I always were an undershirt.

I met my lady at The Forum for their big Easter celebration. It felt good since we hadn’t been in the huge church in a few months. Maybe four months. I felt good and couldn’t stop looking at how huge the crowd was. But something even stronger than God was calling me. Hunger!

I’m getting ahead of myself. Me and my lady made two pineapple upside down cakes! This was yesterday the day before Easter. I was afraid that I would mess these up since I have never made them before. I was expecting to make a hot mess.

We headed to Ralph’s and got all the magical ingredients needed. They were very simple. Cherries, butter, brown sugar, cake mix, and pineapples. Seems easy so far. We put everything the pans and arraigned the pineapples to look nice and pretty.

Next my lady made the cake batter. At the same time we were making dinner and dessert. We had cheese ravioli with meat sauce, garlic bread, and cherry Jell-O with Sprite. Oh, it was tasty!

The cakes were done. We removed them from the over and flipped it upside down (get it?) and let it cool off. The end result was great! It looked like an actual pineapple upside down cake! I wasn’t sure what I was expecting it to look like but I just figured I would find some way to mess it up. We made two awesome “looking” cakes that we couldn’t taste until Easter dinner.

Okay, back to Easter. So after church we headed to my lady’s place. I stared at her mean cat and then chatted with her dad for a bit. He is so cool. Afterwards we head to her aunts place for lunch. Everyone is there and we have fun talking. I’m not that used to this with my family so its cool. We talk about everything from religion, Chris Brown, pirates, basketball, and Guyana.

Later we all sat around and birthday speeches were given. Everyone would tell folks what they thought about and wished for them for their birthday. Everyone had nothing but nice things to say about me and it made my heart smile. I felt like the Grinch when he changed. We had some awesome food from ham, plantains, chicken, rice, macaroni, and potato salad topped off with peach cobbler, our cake, and home made strawberry ice cream. Oh, and some home made ginger beer! My stomach was quite pleased.

I called my parents to see if they were doing anything still. My mother didn’t answer so I was like “Oh, well…” while cheering on the inside. Me and my lady headed to the 99 Cent store and grabbed a bunch of chips after a jones started because she bought some Flaming Hot Cheetoos earlier in the day. My mother called and said almost everyone was gone except for a couple people I don’t really care for. We came back to my place, rested, and split. I got to talk to my sisters Cam and Heidi for a bit tonight, too. How much love can one man stand?!

As the great rapper Ice Cube once said: “Today was a good day.”

Rockets.

This Is My Victory Bear!

A few weeks back I went with my best friend/sister Cam to get some toys and stuff for the library. We went to Toys R Us. We played with some stuff that was around and I reminded myself that I still couldn’t use a hula hoop properly. Neither could Cam, so there. As we were leaving I spotted one of those machines with the claw that had stuffed animals in it.

“Time to rock and roll!” I thought to myself and might’ve said out loud.

I walked over to the machine and fished some quarters out of my pocket. Behind me I hear a voice cry out “Don’t!” Its Cam of course telling me not to waste my money.

“How dare you?!” I ask her. “I’m so gonna win this!”

“Mmm-hmm…” she replies as I drop my coins in.

It starts and I let the claw guide me. I ship past the weird bears and dinosaurs. I spot this blue Care Bear and aim for it. I let the claw drop and get a good grip on this guy. It lifts up and I am praying it doesn’t drop. It lands in the slot and, bingo!, I win!

I handed it to Cam as we walked out and told her, “You doubted me? Here. This is a reminder for you of my awesomeness!” She keeps it in the front seat of her car. I call him Angry Bear.

Rockets.

Books, Bongos, Babies, and Burgers

I had a very good day today. I asked my sister face Cam if I could come to the library where she works. She said of course and I did. It started with me catching the bus and having the best luck I ever had and caught two buses and got to her place in less than 10 minutes. This has never happened. I get there and feel bad because I was expecting to get there maybe half an hour later than I did.

I killed time by chatting with her as she finished up and reading Entertainment Weekly where they had an article about the best heroes and villains in movies. Sharon Stone compared her acting in “Basic Instinct” to Magic Johnson’s playing with the Lakers. I tapped out at that point. We hopped in her ride and we were off.

We get there and I meet one of her co-workers. Her library was not as small as I had pictured. She gave me a tour and I liked the place. I hadn’t been in a library since high school so it was very weird. We sit in the back and I have some cheesecake while she heats up her food in a music microwave that played “Oh, Susana…” Very odd indeed.

More people showed up but there was one in particular I waited for. He showed up later but was toned down from what I’ve heard. I was a bit disappointed. I helped Cam by cutting out words and sticking them to magnets to help with poetry month starting tomorrow. She was worried about me being bored or her working me too much. I liked it. I felt useful. Later we headed to this place to grab some food. I believe it was called Tom’s. Cam got a cheese sandwich and I grabbed a burger and fries that were tasty as hell. While I waited I got my ass kicked at Tekkan 4. That game gets harder each time.

We eat in the break room and have some shaved ice with lemonade. I am pleased. Afterwards we get Cam’s set up ready for reading for the kids. It was so nice seeing her with these little kids. I hate kids as you all know but I appreciate people who work with them as well as she did. I watched for the most part and kept adjusting myself since my legs fall asleep in less than a minute. At 4pm it was time for a drum fest.

This dude named Mr. Chaz brought drums for all of us to bang on. The guy who was in charge of bringing this guy in and helping out didn’t. I think me and Cam did most of the work. He vanished. At first there were just us and some kid. Then we harassed and smiled kids into joining. Even some parents joined in. It was cool. For over an hour we banged on those things to the point where my fingers and right wrist still hurt a bit.

Now we had less than an hour until it was time to leave. The day seemed to fly by after 11am for some reason. We sat with one of Cam’s favorite little kids and played with her and some other kids. We have fun as I marvel at how this one toy has balls that stick to its inside (static I am told by Cam). We clean up and leave as Cam cheers with excitement because she can watch “The Tudors” on DVD.

We take off as I chew on some sour licorice and head home. Almost.
We get to the 99 Cent store and I get some stuff I have needed for a few days. I am eating my sunflower seeds right now and all kinds of happy. I thank Cam for a cool ass day and she thanks me. She doesn’t need to. She made me feel useful and I am looking forward to the next time I head back with her. Probably next Monday to help control the herds at the egg hunt. Wish me luck.

Oh, and I made Cam a little Pac-Man out of felt.

Rockets.

How To Befriend The Opposite Sex Without Sex

There are a lot of people that say and think that you cant be just friends with someone of the opposite sex. Well, I am here as living proof to tell you that its not only possible, but necessary for understanding yourself and the opposite sex better. There are some rules and steps to take when making friends that don’t have the same genitalia as you. Hey, that’s a good place to start.

They just have different junk than you do. Once you get past the fact that chicks have tits and nice lips you’re on your way to being friends. We look at chicks sometimes (most times for some) and all we can think about is how they look naked. This isn’t cool. If you wanna be friends with someone you cant walk around thinking about banging them. Yeah, you can realize that they are attractive but once you get past that things get better.

Talk to them like an equal. This may be hard for some dudes. A lot of guys are taught that men are better at everything than women (and women are taught that they are weaker than men) and this keeps them from treating them as a friend. A guy can have a loser of a friend but still talk to and hang with him more than a woman. Women have the same thoughts as men do even if many don’t want to admit it. They think about sex and food jut as much as you do. Its not like things are off limits when talking to women. I talk about movies, sex, books, TV, childhoods, love, and anything under the sun.

Set the rules. This doesn’t have to be some kind of spoken out loud thing (“I wont touch your tits if you don’t touch my dick!”) unless you cant control yourself. Having female friends is way different if you’re in a relationship. I had an ex think that I had a thing for friends that were lesbian, married, and lived thousands of miles away. You have to make sure your girlfriend was secure enough in the relationship to trust you around chicks. I have almost nothing but chick friends. We hug goodbye but we aren’t running around kissing or holding hands. The same rule applies to male friends I have. Except the hugging goodbye part. That just doesn’t happen. It may not sound true but with chick friends it can get to a point where you don’t even look at them sexually. Shut up, its possible.

I’m still not sure exactly why I haven’t been able to have male friends as an adult. Yeah, there are some guys I talk to but it isn’t often and we aren’t all buddy-buddy. They tend to be so focused on money or pussy while I am “surrounded” by it but don’t get any. There are a hundred reasons why I became friends with chicks and didn’t date them. Bad timing, right place/wrong time, or something just didn’t click to push things past a possible relationship status. I don’t regret it or anything even though some of my female friends have been better than the chicks I used to date.

One of the best things about having mostly female friends is the differing point of view. When you get used to being around just your own sex your reality becomes skewed. The double edge catch 22 of the opposite sex thing is that its harder for girls to be friends with guys. I don trust guys for the most part. Whenever a guy meets one of my friends I am immediately suspect. Not to mention my own lady. I wonder what their intentions are and why I haven’t met them yet.

I am Dante’s insecurity.

I want my lady to have male friends but if she cant talk to them to ask me any dude related questions. There are things she could ask me that I wont know (but I doubt it). I have been around and grew up with so many different types of guys that there is nothing one can say where I’ll go “I did not know that.” One day I’ll make a more concentrated effort to make more friends of my own sex. Until then I’ll keep my hot lady and my cute friends and wait for some dude that doesn’t annoy the hell out of me and stays in contact with me.

Rockets.

Ray Day

Oh, what a crazy little day! I woke up after my semi-typical few hours rest and talked to my lady. Actually I think we instant messaged each other. After that I talked to my best friend Cam. I joked telling her that if I sent her a message at 3am that I wouldn’t go shopping with her. Yeah, right. Around 12:30pm she came and we were off.

First we went to Big Lots where I looked for new sheets and a shower curtain. Man, that place isn’t as cheap as they like to pretend on TV. The average price was $60. To hell with that. I’ll wait until I start working and head to Anna’s Linen’s or something. Cam returned a pillow that for some reason had a vendetta against her head. Oh, it was funny. In line there was this little kid acting a damned fool. He was for serious laying on the floor and screaming. We made eye contact and had a moment where I attempted to download his foolishness into his mind. It didn’t work as he continued to scream like a banshee the entire time.

Next we headed to Target but the amount of people there was ridiculous. We ended up parking at the 99 Cent store and walking towards Santa Monica Blvd. We stopped off at Best Buy so Cam could check out some stuff for her Wii. Best Buy didn’t have the awesome ass prices they advertise so we left. Oh, we had a time limit as we had only enough change for 45 minutes in the meter. Next we stopped at some small video game place where I looked for a video game. Cam got it for me as an early Christmas present and I was all kinds of happy. Seriously, I have wanted this game for over a year and never got it. I’ll be spending a lot of time learning how to play it tomorrow.

We made our way to Target and it was packed but not as insane as I seemed. I was so indecisive with shit. Cam got a dance pad and controller for Dance Dance Revolution 2. Next was the 99 Cent store and nyum nyum’s. They had these new Chee-too’s that were supposed to be cheese and barbeque. It was more barbeque than anything else. They were still good though. After that we went to Ralph’s to grab some stuff for dinner. I grabbed some cereal for a total of four boxes! Hey, don’t hate. I got some Honey Bunches of O’s at Target. I haven’t had those damned things in years and they are the coolness.

After we got to Cam’s place we hooked up her Wii. After some unsuccessful attempts to get the damned controller to work it was on! Cam played the tennis game (which I sucked all kinds of hard at) until she started making a turkey taco salad. I played the boxing and bowling games. That damned Wii is awesome! The boxing game had me all hyper. I was knocking fools out. I was okay at bowling and the baseball game whooped my Black ass.

Next was six full episodes of True Blood. Even after seeing the entire season that chick Tara’s voice bugs the shit out of me. Man, she is an ugly, ugly crier. I’m not saying I get Halle Barry cute or anything when I have a cry, but damn. She looked, as Cam said “like a turtle.” Tara’s mom was no better. Didn’t help she had the ugliest bra on ever. That bra screamed “I don’t plan on getting laid anytime soon!” with a dash of “This is just for keeping my boobs from hitting my knees.” The show was cool and then Cam dropped me off.

I got home and put everything away. It was a very cool fucking day. I love hanging with Cam. We’ll sit there watching shows all day or acting like fools while shopping and it just flies by all fast. It felt like two hours when it was actually closer to twelve. This was a good day and I wish there were more like it. It feels like I’m trying to get as much happy as possible or something. Hope the rest of ya’ll had a fun day and a cooler tomorrow. Not too cool, though. Its already cold as hell outside as I sit here with my stove on trying to get warmed up. Rockets.

Thanks And Stuff...

Today was my official last day at work. And yes, I still feel fine. I am kinda bummed about the other job I was looking forward to heading falling through. Well, falling through is putting it lightly. It crashed.

The guy at the staffing place was all excited about the job he thought was perfect for me and would “utilize my skills!” I was already nervous heading in. It was like what I was doing in the mail room but with driving. In Torrance. And Hawthorne. Daily. Multiple times. For less pay. I passed. I mean, besides the fact that I don’t drive. More on that in some other blog.

The thing that bugs me more than anything is that I am an awesome ass worker. There hasn’t been a job yet that I’ve had that was hard for me to do. I’ve worked at two pet stores. I’ve read scripts. I worked at an adult store for damn near a decade. I worked at a hospital for over two years. Hell, the last time I worked at a hospital I had to move friggin’ dead bodies! What can’t I do?

Hold down a job apparently.

See, that’s just me being negative. I know that I can hold down jobs. Most folks I know have had way more jobs than me in a few years than I have in the 11 years since graduating. I hate change. I like stability. I am not one of those people that die if I’m not constantly trying new things. Does that make me boring? Maybe to most. But I like knowing what’s coming next.

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and I’ll be hanging with my lady and her family. Yeah, I’ll be dodging my family as I am ought to do. I saw them a few months ago for the “reunion” and that was enough for me. I hope everyone has a cool ass Thanksgiving and actually use the holiday for what its really for: being thankful. Me, I’m thankful for the awesome ass friends I have in my life, Kirby, Michelle, Lois, Andrea, Alex, Kiyoshi, and Merlyn. My sisters Camille, Heidi, and Jasmine. My family, Jaron, Ashley, Malakia, Ursula, Ebony, and Tony. And of course, my beautiful woman, Jess. I am thankful for the good and bad times I had this year because they taught me that I can make it through so much in my strange little life. Take care of yourselves. Rockets.

Chicks, Man...

I don’t get along with guys well. There’s no other way to say it. The things most dudes are into I’m just not. I find conversations with them dull, unfocused, and just all around uninteresting.

It’s kinda always been this way. When I was little I would play with guys but talk to girls. I know a lot of it has to do with the fact that the women in my family were the more stable ones. I would sit in on conversations and contribute when I could much to the chagrin of my mother who said I was like a “cowbell” and had “diarrhea of the mouth.” Funny, I still to this day get accused of being quiet.

When I hung out in Little Tokyo (I’ll get to those stories one day) there would be a ton of guys and a few chicks. The chicks had either dated the guys or were in the process of doing so. I was there to just hang out and see something new. I never went to hook up. Also, I never understood how people would be into one type of person (there the chicks loved Black guys). For the longest time they thought I was gay because I wouldn’t hit on any of them or check them out. Look, I check out chicks. But what I look at is what they’re wearing or how they sound. I really don’t like bad voices. It’s one of my things. Anyway, I would talk to them for a long time about things while if I ventured over to the guys they were talking about where they could meet chicks, where they could see chicks, and where they could touch chicks. It’s so old. I mean, how many ways can you talk about what you want to do to a girl? I mean, yeah, there’s a lot but still.

All of my best friends are girls. Seriously. There’s my lady and three others I can think of immediately that I can talk to about almost anything. Guys? Meh. I can talk to a few of them about movies and stuff but it rarely gets deep. With chicks it can be anything from life, relationships, sex, and music. Sure, I can talk about those things with dudes but the conversations are usually way shorter.

I have had relationships where the chick was kinda jealous of the girls I talked to. It was just funny to me because I was like “She is actually like a sister to me.” And its true. I know it sounds like one of those typical male bullshit lies, but its true with me. One of my friends is like a little sister to me and I wish her the best and pray that she is happy. I pray that all my friends are happy and successful in everything they do. My chick friends know they can talk to me about anything and fall asleep around me without me grabbing their ass. I don’t even know where I’m going with this. I just felt like rambling. Rockets.

...And I Feel Fine!

Okay, so here’s the deal. Next week is gonna be my last week at my job. I work in a mail room and I loved the job. It was by far the easiest job I have ever had. But that’s not the main reason I liked it. Notice all of the past tense “ed”’s I throw in here. It was cool. I got along with everyone. The pay was decent. The schedule was hype. So why am I fine that it’s all ending soon?

Because the new plans they have for it suck a huge one. Besides the fact that everyone will be forced to help out folks they don’t have the man power to and everyone’s days will be all kinds of thrown off, they (permanent folks as opposed to my temp ass) may be losing their jobs very soon. Seriously, what the fuck is with that? It’s supposed to be privately owned, but come on, dude. Don’t bullshit me. I write stories. I know all about bullshit. I love the mentality that corporations have right before they let people go.

Work you like a dog, fuck with your living, and hope you quit so they don’t have to cough up that unemployment. Well played. I have been looking for work and I pray that next week I will have something solid. The idea of not working does not excite me one bit. I am not one of those people that love being home doing bullshit. I feel bad for some of the guys I work with. Some of them (again, notice the subtle use of words like “some”) are really cool guys that are hard workers and have been there for years, a few over a decade. It’s not right that they will have to start looking for a new job. I will keep them in my prayers.

My lady asked if I was still praying and in case you’re reading this, babe. I am. I haven’t stopped since I started. It keeps me level headed and grounded. I think of all the shit that has happened to me in my life. The times I could’ve been hurt or killed. Homeless. Whatever. And I am still standing. Sorry, I’m having an Antwoine Fisher moment here. No matter what has happened I have still been able to be a good friend, mate, and worker. I don’t get worse in the face of adversary. I get better. I pick up new things no matter where I work and I do well whether I put 100% into it or not. At my current job I was putting in maybe 35%. Imagine what close to 90% would look like.

In the meantime I will stay your friendly neighborhood Negro. I will stay strong, positive, and as cynical as ever. Hope all of you are doing well and taking care of each other out there. It’s some crazy times we live in but as long as we have each other and watch one another’s backs we’ll be cool. Rockets.