Bernie Sanders...Wizard?

There is magic in the world. “The test of a great and powerful nation is not how many wars it can engage in, but how it can resolve international conflicts in a peaceful manner. I will move away from a policy of unilateral military action and regime change, and toward a policy of emphasizing diplomacy, and ensuring the decision to go to war is a last resort...like I did on 1897.” 

Did Bernie Sanders just confirm what many have already believed? That he is indeed a wizard and/or immortal? Or is he beginning to lose his mind in his old age? A photo surfaced recently that may prove that Sanders has been around for hundreds if not thousands of years working behind the scenes. Though he claims to be 74 years old this newly revealed evidence proves that he may in fact be older than the nation itself. Some speculate that Sanders my indeed be a time traveler which is far more dangerous than a wizard according to most sources. 

With the recent information that his opponent Hillary Clinton may have a gang related past voters on the Democratic side are going to be forced with a hard decision come election time: Do you want a wizard to run your country or a known gang member? 

Hillary Clinton's Gangsta Past Haunts Her

Hillary Clinton's past has recently come back to haunt her. Many are unaware that she once belong to and ran with rap group N.W.A. As former member of the influential rap group Ice Cube once said “I'll never have dinner with the President.” Many wondered why he was so upset. It turns out that he was hurt by Hilary and her comments regarding gangs.

In 1996 while giving a speech Hillary stated “We also have to have an organized effort against gangs, just as in a previous generation we had an organized effort against the mob. We need to take these people on. They are often connected to big drug cartels. They are not just gangs of kids anymore. They are often the kinds of kids that are called 'superpredators.'” She then added “No conscience, no empathy. We can talk about why they ended up that way, but first we have to bring them to heel. And the president has asked the FBI to launch a very concerted effort against gangs everywhere.”

President Trump Plans To Build Wall Around Earth

President Trump held a press conference earlier today declaring that a wall would be placed in between planet Earth and Mars, further straining Earthling/Martian relations. Since his third reign as President of the United States Trump has slowly moved towards the plan of creating an even greater divide between humanity and Martians. In today's press conference he stated “When Mars sends its people, they're not sending their best. They're sending people that have lots of problems. They're bringing drugs. They're bringing crime. They're rapists.”

After the gasps settled he continued. “I will build a great wall and nobody builds walls better than me, believe me - and I'll build them very inexpensively. I will build a great, great wall on our solar border, and I will make Mars pay for that wall. Mark my words.”