Lavardo Fisher Shooting

13 year old Lavardo Fisher of Florida is dead for a lot of stupid reasons. I read about this story and thought “This fucking sucks” and how easily it could have happened to me or anyone I knew growing up because when guns are in homes sometimes stupid shit happens. He was playing a video game when his 18 year old cousin Brandon Louis, while riding one of those new hoverboards, found their uncles gun. While riding he fell and fired the gun hitting Lavardo in the back of the head. He told an investigator “I didn't mean to shoot, it was an accident, the gun just went off.”

He was not breathing when paramedics showed up. He was in critical condition and died the next day at the hospital and his cousin has not been charged. Another cousin was also there when this happened as well as three women that were mentally challenged and visiting were there but did not witness anything. Police say that the two cousins tried to put the blame on something else before finally admitting what happened with blood on their clothes. They said someone named “Skeet” had brought the gun over and may have done this but police could not find this person. That's when they admitted they were lying their asses off.

Man Dies Running Krispy Kreme Challenge

“2400 calories, 12 doughnuts, 5 miles, 1 hour. The mantra of the Krispy Kreme Challenge epitomizes the test of physical fitness and gastrointestinal fortitude.” That is how this challenge began and ended for 58 year old Jeff Woods. If you had told me that a 58 year old guy died while trying to run five miles while eating a dozen Krispy Kreme donuts I would have said “That sounds about right.” He was pronounced dead after being taken to the hospital. 

This event is used to raise money for the North Carolina Children's Hospital in Raleigh, North Carolina. His friends have described him as fun and kind and even though he is not a runner this was something they weren't surprised he would attempt. The way this race goes is you run two and a half miles to a bell tower at the university, eat a dozen donuts, then run back to the start of the race totaling five miles. Now, one regular ass Krispy Kreme has 190 calories. To put that in perspective a can of Coke has 150. A dozen of these donuts is 2,280 calories. 3,500 equal about a pound. The idea of dumping that much shit into my body in such a short amount of time sounds like a terrible dare I wouldn't take. I have eaten some terrible shit and about once a week go all out on bad food like pork rinds, big ass burgers, or pizza. But I would never run that far, eat that much, and try to run back. Especially if I am 58 years old and not a regular runner. But for once they used the word challenge properly. 

What People Care About This Week: Raynette Turner

Another arrest, another person dying in police custody. This time it was mother of eight kids 42 year old Raynette Turner of Mount Vernon, New York. While waiting for arraignment after being arrested for shoplifting she was found dead in her holding cell. Her husband of 23 years, Herman Turner is not taking this lightly. “Sounds like a cover-up to me. If they Mount Vernon police did their job she would still be alive. I want somebody's head to roll on this. I am not going to rest until I get some type of justice for my wife. That's the bottom line.”

So far the officials results have been inconclusive as to how she died. Herman wasn't even sure that his wife was arrested on Friday of Saturday for stealing crab legs where she was found a short distance away from by police. He was told she was complaining of feeling ill on Monday and was found dead on Tuesday. He didn't find out that his wife was dead until two detectives showed up at his house to tell him. “We know she was requesting medical treatment and it seems that, at some level, the system and the protocols that the city was following failed.”

Woman Kills Friend With Crock Pot

Ever since I was little I knew that there were certain people that you didn't fuck with or get into arguments with. Not just because having all your teeth is awesome but because you just don't know what other people are going through. A 50 year old woman from Michigan named Tewana Sullivan beat her friend to death with a slow cooker after getting into a political debate.

She was charged with assault with the intent to kill but once the judge found out that the friend was dead he changed it to first-degree murder. How did the judge not know that going in? Court confuses me. This all went down on October 22nd last year. Police got to Cheryl Livy's place in a senior living complex a little before 11pm.

They found her all kinds of bloody and barely breathing. Standing over her was Sullivan saying “I'm sorry. I did it. I'm sorry. I did it. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.” She and the walls were covered in blood. Police saw that the cord of the slow cooker was wrapped around Livy's neck. The crock pot was busted over her head first. She died two days later from her injuries.

Happy Holidays From Doom Mates!

This Is Doom Mates

This is an image of the main cast of Doom Mates. Just click here to see some of the ones I loaded on Funny or Die a while back. I have been playing around with special effects on the computer and enjoying it.

Dude, What The F**k?!

There are a lot of ways I think I can die. The image above is not one of them. Cars hitting me. A far too enthusiastic sex partner. Giraffes. Just so many. But having my damned draws (underwear for you laymen) choke me out isn't one of them. I mean, you would never expect this to happen even on your worst day. Pretty sure Denver Lee St. Clair didn't expect his grown ass 33 year old step-son Brad Davis to wedgie him so damned extremely that he died.

Hey.

“I'd never seen this before, but when we first looked at our victim seeing the waistband of his underwear was around his neck” Pottawatomie County Sheriff Mike Booth Booth said. I would hope not! That's not some shit that should ever be common. St. Clair had damage done to his face meaning that there was a fight that took place. The cause of death is being listed as blunt force trauma to the head and asphyxiation. That first part is just to make family feel better because no one wants to walk around knowing that their family member died because his draws killed him.

Shit Just Got Real 2

Let me preface this by saying that I am a dick but I don’t consider myself a hypocrite. When I first saw this story I couldn’t climb as high on my horse as I usually would because I used to do, though not to this extent, what the kid in this story did. I used to wrestle my sister and my older brother wrestled with me when I was little. My sister didn’t get the high impact moves like I did (Spinebuster, DDT). She got mainly submission moves from me (Texas Cloverleaf, Sharpshooter, Rings Of Saturn). In my defense a lot of it happened in front of my parents. Either way it was stupid. Now to get started with this post.

A 13 year old boy named Devalon Armstrong is accused of killing his half sister named Viloude Louis using what he described as and what the media is describing as “WWE style wrestling moves.” Apparently he jumped on her back using elbow drops onto her kidneys. She complained about stomach pains, for god knows how long, and half an hour later her found her on the floor in pain. By the time paramedics arrived she was already dead.

According to coroner reports she died from broken ribs, internal bleeding, and liver lacerations. Devalon told the police that he knew that he was hurting his sister because she told him so but continued for a few more minutes before stopping just because his mother called to check on them. He has been charged with 2nd degree murder.

Harlem Shake Doom Mates Edition

It's been a while since I've done anything Doom Mates related. So here's some random Harlem Shaking going on. Click here to find out what the hell Doom Mates is!

"Right Fist Of Doom Mates" Intro

Hey, remember last year when I posted the first part of the new Doom Mates movie? Yeah. Almost a year later and there was never anything new added. I watched it a few months back and it just didn’t feel very Doom Mates-like to me. It was creepier and more serious than it should’ve been. After four seasons and over 100 episodes I owed it to those of you that enjoyed it to stick with what brought me to the dance.

This is the new intro I created for the upcoming half hour film. I’ve been creating some really funny scenes, fights, and a rap battle between Dante and Pretty Ricky. And yes there will be dancing from Michael. Thanks to you that have been patient.

"Doom Mates: The Movie" Part 1

It has finally arrived! "Doom Mates: The Movie" is here with all of your favorites and some you could've done without seeing again! Dante has a secret weapon that he knows will help him get Michael, Jason, Pretty Ricky, and even Death out of the house. Will he use it? Watch and find out! Check back every few days for the next installment.

"Doom Mates" Halloween Short

They're baaaaaaaaaaack!!! Dante, Pretty Ricky, Death, Jason, and Michael are back to share some "skurry" stories for Halloween. One guess on how long it is before someone is insulted, hurt, or attacked. Thanks for watching!

"Doom Mates" Season 3

Here is the entire Season 3 of Doom Mates! Click here for Season 1 and Season 2. Season 4 coming soon!

Season 3 Trailer



Season 3 Preview



Episode 41

"Prettier Than You" Episode 7

Once again Pretty Ricky is back to answer all of your question. A few guests make an appearance!

"Doom Mates" Final Episode Contained

So you don't have to go clicking all the different links, you can watch the entire final episode and marvel at my hair growth! Enjoy, and thanks again for hanging on all these years.

"Doom Mates" Episode 80 Part 6: "Doomed Mates"

This is it! The series finale of "Doom Mates!" Will Dante defeat D.?! What will become of Pretty Ricky, Death, Jason, and Michael? Will Dante make another part and keep every single one of you waiting?! Who is the best dancer? How many butcher knives can Jason throw? These final episodes feature everything those of you who watch asked for. Thank for sticking around all this time!

Part 1



Part 2

"Doom Mates" Episode 80 Part 5: "Star Crossed Lovers..."

During a hairy situation love blooms, Dante continues to get his ass beat, and Jason and Michael reunite to beat some undead ass!

"Doom Mates" Episode 80 Part 4: "And The Winner Is..."

The final battle for control of Dante has begun! Everyone gets into in this crazy ass episode of Doom Mates!

"Doom Mates" Episode 80 Part 3: "Winter Boned"

Dante doesn't think anyone is ready for the final battle against D. Pretty Ricky gets insulted and goes on a tirade. There's a special appearance by someone who has been quiet for quite some time. Remember to stick around for clips from past "Doom Mates" after the credits.

"Doom Mates" Episode 80 "Crack Swan" Parts 1 & 2

After the betrayal of Delvin and Ross Dante begins to wonder whether or not he can actually beat D.

Part 1 "Crack Swan"



D. gathers his troops for a little pep talk while Dante and Pretty Ricky share some family time discussing the coming battle.

Part 2 "True Shit"