Sunday, March 13, 2016

Fourth Child Problems

I am the fourth child out of five from my parents. Yeah, there is another brother but I've only met him three times and he has a mother I don't know so he is not included in this. I have never bothered to look up any information regarding a personality type based on the spot you were born in. There is always talk of the first child, middle child, and the baby of the family. I was what would be considered the baby socially for ten years of my life but was not even close to being treated as such.

Here is some information that I found about being the fourth child in a family. I am sure that I'll find some stuff to disagree with in this because that is kinda my thing. Maybe its a fourth child thing. You don't know!

“Fourth born children often develop the ability to deal well with people. This is probably a result of having to deal with all of those personality types growing up. They may also be great thinkers and able to manage challenging situations. They may also become analytical, hard workers and they can be pushy or passive.”

I remember talking to a former coworker that was also a fourth child. Each of us had older brothers that we would have loved to collaborate with on different things and didn't. Last year I started producing beats and writing terrible rap songs and have a brother that has rapped for 30 years and one that is a DJ and sings. Ask me if we've ever worked on something together. Ask me! The answer is no.

I can manage a challenging situation fine but try to avoid them. I like to challenge myself by learning new shit. That is fun to me because when I start and suck and get hard on myself my brain goes “Stop being a bitchy bitch. You'll be good at this in a few days.” And I am only pushy if I care. I tend to be rather passive when I don't care. I can't pretend to care. Here are a few more.

“Has the challenge of overcoming the forceful exclusion of the third born by being a pretender.”

Yes! Me and my brother closest in age stopped being close real fast when I was little. I was a damned pretend factory. Was my ass. I still am. I like to pretend that one day a chick will like me.

“Is entertaining due to the ability to imitate many personalities.”

I wouldn't call myself entertaining but as a child I would imitate the hell out of family members. As I was writing that I was singing Justin Timberlake “Sexy Back” using my teeth for synthesizer sound effects. As me why I'm single again.

“Feels 'not big enough' thus isolated and has a desire for belonging.”

I didn't feel big enough because I wasn't big enough! I was a tiny ass dude which some people find hard to believe. I was that kid that took class photos up front with the girls because the boys towered over me. They probably mean mentally. That was not a problem. I had a huge ego back then.

“Is strongly angered when insulted especially when implied about not being mature enough.”

I am rarely actually insulted and when I am its pretty obvious. I ask for lots of clarification. If its in a message I will call your ass and give you a chance to explain yourself before never talking to you again.

“Analyzes things from many points of view and can come up with ingenious and balanced ideas.”

I tend to have more than one point of view about something which is why I am a bad person to have a real argument with. I already saw it from your point of view and can explain why I agree and why its wrong at the same time. Don't know how ingenious the plan will be but I can come up with ways to get finished. I get shit done. I am not a fan of half measures so when I am dealing with someone that half asses things I get annoyed faster than most people do.

“Has deep issues with trusting others.”

So what if I do? Actually, I'd say I trust people very easily but once you mess that up its hard or impossible for me to trust you the same way again. I have the memory of an elephant. An elephant with a sideways glance that causes cancer.

“Is thoughtful, understanding and empathetic of others.”

I had to look up what empathy means. I can be thoughtful and understanding but I have trouble with empathy. I used to take on folks feelings too much years ago and had to boot that program from the system. It was too stressful.

“Intuitively understands all psychological birth orders except for only children.”

The only thing I don't get is when an only child says they wished they grew up with siblings. To me its like “No, you don't.” Its better to be an only kid and know it than to have a house full of siblings and feel lonely. Its like being tall. Everyone wants to be tall except tall girls that can't find a guy to date. I used to be short, wanted to be taller, got it, and wishes I could shave a few inches off. Here is a post I wrote about such.

“Aims to perceive and understand the family as a whole.”

Hmm. I don't try to understand them so much as stay away from most of them. And by most I mean 99.7%.

“Wants everyone to get along and is happy when the family is happy.”

This one I kind of get because to me coming along and growing up with so many people in the house my brain goes “You guys had years to get this shit working right before I showed up. What gives?!” Everyone should get along. Its stupid not to. And if you can't get along stop talking to each other. It really is that simple. Married, get a divorce. Dating, break up. Friends, stop talking. Me, I turned 18 and got the hell out. Life doesn't have to be as hard as most folks make it. 

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