New Obsession

Once again my goofy ass is getting obsessed with famous people. You all may recall my Celebrity Spank Bank parts 1 and 2. I be liking famous people for no damned reason. Well, besides the fact they’re hot. This time I decided to write about three chicks from three very different walks of life. One is a singer, the other an actress, and the last a porn star. Somebody pray for me. Or not. Whatever

Pink

I’m not a huge fan of her music but I do like watching her videos and looking at pictures of her. She’s fucking cute. I do like her song “So What” and that video for the video “Stupid Girl.” The first time I even looked at her and my pants got tight was when I saw “Lady Marmalade.” I was like, “Whoa. When the hell did Pink get that cute?” Caught me totally off guard. Anyway, Pink is fucking cute (yes, fucking cute is a good thing) and I’m trying to find as many pictures of her online as I can.

Vanessa Ferlito

This chick was in “Death Proof” which I have yet to see. I saw her recently in “25th Hour.” I know there have been other things I’ve seen her in but can never remember but refuse to look her up online for more information. She is cute in the same way Fairuza Balk is. Its this certain look she has that makes me warm for her form.

Pinky

This is the porn star. I have been finding a lot of movies with her. Movies. Hell. Scenes. I have seen quite a few scenes with her in recent weeks and I’ll be damned if she doesn’t have a perfect body (for me). I know my friend Alex would die if she hit on him while I would scream like a little girl and do a dance that would hurt the world’s feelings. And she looks nice. Like, personality wise. She doesn’t look bitchy. A lot of porn stars tend to look like they’d be mean f you met them. Pinky doesn’t. And she has the kind of thighs I would flip vehicles over for.

Eat Me!!!

Yes, my friends. That is indeed a big ass delicious hotdog from the world famous Pink’s! Bob, I know you’re proud of me. We were just talking about that place yesterday. My lady asked if I wanted to go tonight and of course I did. She got an Ozzy Dog and I got myself the monster known as the Liberty Dog. And much like the good old U.S of A, it was fatter than it needed to be and messy.

Bacon.

Pastrami.

Lettuce.

Tomato.

Clogged arteries.

This thing was messy but very good. I couldn’t finish the damned thing. The parts that fell off were a meal in and of itself! I am so glad that I’ve finally gone there. A huge sign nearby Pink’s is an advertisement for Carney’s. Its that hotdog place up on Sunset that looks like a train car. That place blows. I have had it enough to make this judgment. Bad service. Slow delivery. And tiny ass hotdogs that taste just like regular ass hotdogs. They try to cover up this fact by burying it in onions. For shame!

So if you’re in L.A and in decent health, I say try Pink’s. I am amongst the converted. I have seen the light. I have touched the hand of God. I have done serious damage to my colon for which there may not be enough penance!

Rockets.