Want A Ride...?

I took a ride with a stranger one time. Yeah, its one of those things I blast people about doing and swore that I’d never do but it indeed happened one day back in 1997 (insert wavy screen indicating flashback).

This was when I was still living with my folks a few months after graduating. I would stay at my ex’s place until around 10:30pm and then hop on the 105 down La Cienega and get home around 11:25 or so. This time though, things were different. I got to the stop at 10:35 or so and just stood around staring at the sky. I check my watch and, yeah, it’s around 11pm. I’m like, “Oh, this sucks!” I know that the bus isn’t coming and start trying to figure out how I am getting home.

I walk down to Fairfax and Santa Monica and wait for the 217 because I know that it runs 24/7 and is one of the most frequent buses in the city. Not that night. Around 12:45 a bus shows up and I jump on. I’m sitting there doing the possible violence math.

“Walking around South Central, L.A after 1am. Black. Wearing shitty shoes. Thin leather jacket. Let’s see where this goes.”

So I’m on the bus with two other chicks (no, I didn’t know them) and when we get to Fairfax and Olympic the driver goes, “Last stop!” I’m like, fuck you, man. Not out loud because I didn’t start cursing until around 4 years later. I get off the bus and sure enough I see that it was indeed the short line. I take the Shoelace Express and head towards home. I start doing the walking math.

“Bad shoes. Longer walk than expected. This is gonna suck so hard!”

I am walking past all these thugs and shit and just waiting for some shit to jump off. Now don’t let the smooth taste fool you, I can whip some ass when I need to. And those horrible ass shoes were hard and I was just imagining what it would feel like to kick someone with them. As I got near Pico and Fairfax a car drove by slowly. I was like “Here we go…” The car passed by and then circled again. And again. And again…what the fuck?! At this point I’m just waiting for something stupid to happen. The car pulls up next to me and rolls the window down.

“Need a ride?” this kinda geeky, chubby Black dude asks me.

My mind says, “Shit, no! Fuck you! I ain’t riding with no strangers!”

My mouth says, “Sure.”

Really, Dante?

I get in and buckle up happy that I don’t have to walk the rest of the way home. It was a little before Halloween and I saw some bags and stuff in dude’s car so I asked him if he’s taking his kids trick or treating.

“No” he says flatly.

We start talking about nothing and it feels like the longest car ride ever. He mentions that he works for Warner Bros. and I mention that I draw. He gives me his card. I give him my number in the hopes of getting a dream job drawing. Cool. He gets to my street and I get out a few houses before my own. He just sits there waiting for me to go inside. The problem is that he wont drive away. The other problem is that this neighbor has a motion sensor and if I get any closer the light will come on and they will be greeted by a skinny ass Black kid with a leather jacket standing on their porch. I turn and wave goodbye and he finally pulls off. I hop the bushes and rush inside.

I call my ex and her mom asks me how I got home. I tell her and she asks me if the guy was gay. I’m like, “Uh, no…” until things start clicking in my head. The mood change when I mentioned kids. Picking up random Black dudes late at night. Shit.

The next day he calls. Like, ten times. I pretend I am busy each time until I get sick of the shit. He actually asks me “Don’t you think you have room in your life for one more friend, Michael?” Yes, I gave him a fake name. You think I’m crazy? I tell him that I do not and that was the end of that.

I don’t know what the point of this blog was. Just another example of one of the many stupid things I’ve done in my life. Don’t ride in cars with strangers, people. You may end up with your balls as wind chimes and that’s not cool at all. Rockets.