Shit Just Got Real 6

I was watching this news story a few days ago about this chick, Melinda Slick, and how she got told off by a bus driver. In late August while on the bus Slick complained to the driver about how cold it was on the bus. She sat there with her arms tucked into her shirt and eventually got off the bus. There were some more words between the two and before Slick got off the bus the driver said to her "As long as you’re short, fat and white, you will not speak to me like that again."

In an interview Slick said that she was "completely speechless. I didn’t know what to say. As soon as I stepped off the bus, I lost it. The tears just started flowing. I have struggled with my weight my whole entire life. I’ve been bullied and picked on all through school because of it." I've spoken before how it is to ride buses here (click here to read my Five Things I Learned Riding The Bus) and how you are at the mercy of the drivers. You can talk shit to them all you want but they can also choose to kick your ass off the bus.

Five Things I Learned Riding The Bus

I ride the bus every single day. As old as I am I still don’t drive but I know that eventually I’ll have to because I plan on having a more adult life that doesn’t involve waking up eating sugary cereal and drinking coffee while listening to podcasts and farting around in my robe. Which rules. If you don’t do all of what I said at least once a week then you ain’t living. But yeah. One day I will have to get a car and stop riding the bus.

The bus is like its own personal world. Or hell. Yeah, let’s go with hell. You will meet people you never wanted to, talk to people you have no interest in talking to, and smelling things that come from a human being that you never knew was possible. But despite all this including the fact that you’ll discover that bums have a taste in this Five Things I Learned Riding The Bus riding the bus is still cheaper than owning a car.

Dante & Friends Talk Buses 1

I don’t drive. This is public knowledge and not a revelation in any sense. I have multiple reasons for not doing it so I ride the bus. I’ve been riding the bus a ton for my new job and have seen some pretty strange shit. If you’ve ever ridden the bus you’ve seen something that makes you gasp, laugh, or poop a little in your mouth. That’s totally possible by the way.

I’ve seen everything from people trimming their toenails to a woman covered in piss getting on happy as you please. But one of the most memorable instances was a woman getting her ass beat. Now, I’m not one to advocate violence *bullshit* especially against women but…this chick was asking for an ass whipping. I know, some of you are like “There is never an excuse to hit a woman!” but let me explain what happened first.

Rosscast Episode 104: So That Just Happened...

In this episode I talk about the crazy ass lady on the bus (and even play some bad audio from it!), Brittany Murphy dying all of a sudden, and I answer a few listener questions. Click here to download this and older Rosscast. Enjoy!

The Day Part 1

Another day another chance to get a job. Man, my legs are on fire from all the walking I did today. How was your day, folks? Its funny how people who have jobs treat others like shit. And then you have good people like my friends who go out of their way to help me out. In the course of this here blog I will show examples of these polar opposites. Let me crack my toes first. Oh, that’s nice…

I would love to say my day started off with me waking up all refreshed and feeling awesome. But that’s not how I roll. Some asshat called at 2am and woke me up. I had a hard enough time with shit on my mind getting to sleep. Whoever it was didn’t even leave a message. Jerks. It took me forever to finally get back to sleep and it seems that as soon as I did I had to wake up at 6am.

The plan was to head over Camille’s (my awesome little sister from a different mister) and get some money for the bus. Yes, its that bad now, people. Anyhoot, I got ready and looked outside to see the sky raining. Not regular ass L.A rain, but a tsunami of rain (as Cam puts it)! I was like, “Come on!” I left and realized I didn’t have my watch. I went back and started walking. 3 miles.

Oh, the rain! I had to dodge cars throwing water, the sky throwing water, and water throwing water. It was coming from everywhere. At least my socks were dry. For now. I finally made it over to her place and she gave me some tokens and I danced the dance of he who can now ride the bus to interviews without worrying how to get there. She’s great. She walked me outside and I continued my trek. I got to the bus stop and noticed a sign for the 750. What the fuck is a 750? I crossed to the 20 stop hoping the 720 stopped there. It didn’t. It flew by and I took the 20. I got to hear an interesting conversation on the way downtown. Let me transcribe it a bit for you. It was two older Black folks. A male and a female.

Man: “Why the fuck don’t you got yo card?! We could get some damned Vicadin if you did!”

Woman: “Fuck you! Why ain’t you got yo card?!”

Man: “I'm sittin’ here hurtin’ an’ that bitch at the center wont give me some goddamn pills! I’m hurtin’!”

Woman: “I know where to go.”

Man: “Where the stop?”

Woman: “Nigga, I told you I know where we get off!”

Man: “Don’t be yellin’ at me, bitch!”

Woman: “Here we are. Get up, nigga!”

So I get off at Hope and Wilshire. Now I got another walk on my hands. This one just over a mile. Its not raining now, thank God. I get there and cant find Sam. Yeah, Sam is giving me a ride to Downey to get fingerprinted for a County job. I spot him and we’re off. Yeah, we only have 20 minutes to get to Downey. Will we make it?

Rockets.

Want A Ride...?

I took a ride with a stranger one time. Yeah, its one of those things I blast people about doing and swore that I’d never do but it indeed happened one day back in 1997 (insert wavy screen indicating flashback).

This was when I was still living with my folks a few months after graduating. I would stay at my ex’s place until around 10:30pm and then hop on the 105 down La Cienega and get home around 11:25 or so. This time though, things were different. I got to the stop at 10:35 or so and just stood around staring at the sky. I check my watch and, yeah, it’s around 11pm. I’m like, “Oh, this sucks!” I know that the bus isn’t coming and start trying to figure out how I am getting home.

I walk down to Fairfax and Santa Monica and wait for the 217 because I know that it runs 24/7 and is one of the most frequent buses in the city. Not that night. Around 12:45 a bus shows up and I jump on. I’m sitting there doing the possible violence math.

“Walking around South Central, L.A after 1am. Black. Wearing shitty shoes. Thin leather jacket. Let’s see where this goes.”

So I’m on the bus with two other chicks (no, I didn’t know them) and when we get to Fairfax and Olympic the driver goes, “Last stop!” I’m like, fuck you, man. Not out loud because I didn’t start cursing until around 4 years later. I get off the bus and sure enough I see that it was indeed the short line. I take the Shoelace Express and head towards home. I start doing the walking math.

“Bad shoes. Longer walk than expected. This is gonna suck so hard!”

I am walking past all these thugs and shit and just waiting for some shit to jump off. Now don’t let the smooth taste fool you, I can whip some ass when I need to. And those horrible ass shoes were hard and I was just imagining what it would feel like to kick someone with them. As I got near Pico and Fairfax a car drove by slowly. I was like “Here we go…” The car passed by and then circled again. And again. And again…what the fuck?! At this point I’m just waiting for something stupid to happen. The car pulls up next to me and rolls the window down.

“Need a ride?” this kinda geeky, chubby Black dude asks me.

My mind says, “Shit, no! Fuck you! I ain’t riding with no strangers!”

My mouth says, “Sure.”

Really, Dante?

I get in and buckle up happy that I don’t have to walk the rest of the way home. It was a little before Halloween and I saw some bags and stuff in dude’s car so I asked him if he’s taking his kids trick or treating.

“No” he says flatly.

We start talking about nothing and it feels like the longest car ride ever. He mentions that he works for Warner Bros. and I mention that I draw. He gives me his card. I give him my number in the hopes of getting a dream job drawing. Cool. He gets to my street and I get out a few houses before my own. He just sits there waiting for me to go inside. The problem is that he wont drive away. The other problem is that this neighbor has a motion sensor and if I get any closer the light will come on and they will be greeted by a skinny ass Black kid with a leather jacket standing on their porch. I turn and wave goodbye and he finally pulls off. I hop the bushes and rush inside.

I call my ex and her mom asks me how I got home. I tell her and she asks me if the guy was gay. I’m like, “Uh, no…” until things start clicking in my head. The mood change when I mentioned kids. Picking up random Black dudes late at night. Shit.

The next day he calls. Like, ten times. I pretend I am busy each time until I get sick of the shit. He actually asks me “Don’t you think you have room in your life for one more friend, Michael?” Yes, I gave him a fake name. You think I’m crazy? I tell him that I do not and that was the end of that.

I don’t know what the point of this blog was. Just another example of one of the many stupid things I’ve done in my life. Don’t ride in cars with strangers, people. You may end up with your balls as wind chimes and that’s not cool at all. Rockets.