Damned Vegetables

I don’t eat vegetables. Its not to be a stubborn ass like some people think. I’ve eaten vegetables. When I was little my parents would make something for dinner and it’d usually include things like spinach, greens, or god forbid peas. My answer tends to be “it tastes like dirt” and then I get told that I’m not washing things properly.

Yummy, right? Right?!

I have had vegetables with cheese added. Spices added. Family recipes and such. The only person that has seemed to be able to make stuff with vegetables that I can eat is Cam. I don’t know what the hell she does but I’ll eat bell peppers and stuff when she makes it. So I do have the ability to consume things that grow in the ground. Just not 99% of them. Plus, I don’t like that I have to season the shit out of something just to enjoy it.

Though I wouldn't mind sprinkling some Ross Sauce on her...

Meat is my thing. I love eating all forms of meat. Wow. That sentence may be used against me in prison one day. I have a set list of things I enjoy eating and they are things that many people are horrified with. My normal diet is everyone’s cheat diet. Today I ate a five slice of bacon and egg sandwich followed by a bag of beef jerky. Ever since I was little I was all about eating fast food, barbecuing, and cramming my face with as much flesh as possible. I need to start thinking before I type.

This is me as a baby. Probably just ate a burger.

So for those of you that love eating fruits and vegetables, rock and roll. I’m not gonna stop you. But understand that I eat the way I eat and am not falling apart. “Not yet…” some smartass just said. Well, I don’t care. I’m not trying to live to 100 and I’ll be lucky to make it to 40. So I’m gonna continue to live my life eating the good food I do and loving existence. Plus, I’ll leave a delicious ass corpse for the inevitable zombie war.