Dante And His OCD

Years ago I had multiple OCD’s. Now, I know there are some people reading this and saying “You cant leave the house with your clothes not ironed! That’s an OCD. Ha!” Shut it. If my house was on fire and I had wrinkled jeans on I wouldn’t stop to grab some that were ironed. Years ago when there was a gas leak on Santa Monica I rushed out in wrinkled clothes. I’m talking about real, hardcore, annoying ass OCD’s. So what is an OCD?

“Obsessive–compulsive disorder (OCD) is an anxiety disorder characterized by intrusive thoughts that produce uneasiness, apprehension, fear, or worry; by repetitive behaviors aimed at reducing the associated anxiety; or by a combination of such obsessions and compulsions. Symptoms of the disorder include excessive washing or cleaning; repeated checking; extreme hoarding; preoccupation with sexual, violent or religious thoughts; relationship-related obsessions; aversion to particular numbers; and nervous rituals, such as opening and closing a door a certain number of times before entering or leaving a room. These symptoms can be alienating and time-consuming, and often cause severe emotional and financial distress. The acts of those who have OCD may appear paranoid and potentially psychotic. However, OCD sufferers generally recognize their obsessions and compulsions as irrational, and may become further distressed by this realization.”

The ones I had sucked. They would make doing normal things even harder than they needed to be. Funny enough, the solution to recognizing some of them came from the most unlikely source: Howard Stern. Yes, that Howard Stern. He in his autobiography mentioned his including having to enter doors a certain way to make sure he was confident and powerful. Here’s some of the ridiculous nonsense my brain put me through and how I got over them.

The OCD: 7 + 7 + 7 + 7 + 8

I don’t know where this one even came from but it started when I was around 8 years old and didn’t stop until I was around 19. I would randomly have these numbers pop into my head and then stop for a minute then start up again. All. Day. Long. The numbers don’t even add up to anything magical. They just bothered me.

The Solution

One day I decided that this was bullshit and needed to stop. It was starting to interfere with me doing math and would jump into me reading at times which was unacceptable. Once in a while it will try to start and my brain will stop it at the second 7.

The OCD: Counting Cracks In the Sidewalk

This one buh-lew! I already walk with my head down so when I would come across a crack and stepped on it I would absolutely have to step on the next three or else I would have the shittiest day ever. If I happened to skip a crack I would end up having to step on the next two or else…I’m not sure. Maybe my week would be ruined. I didn’t want to chance it.

The Solution

Howard Stern. After hearing about the weird shit he was doing I realized that I was doing the same thing. It made no sense that by not stepping on something that my life would be affected in any way unless it was a landmine. My life and walking became so much easier when I stopped doing this. You really don’t realize how something is fucking with your life until you stop doing it.

The OCD: Nail Biting

I would bit my nails until it hurt. It didn’t matter how little bit of nail was left on my fingers, I would find it and rip it from my hands. I would tell myself that I was gonna stop biting my nails and the next thing you know my finger would be in my mouth and I’d be chewing like a madman.

The Solution

One day me and a friend made a random bet on who could grow their nails the longest. We went on for about a month before he stopped but I just kept going because I realized that with my long ass fingers my hands looked nicer. This made me start painting them more and biting your nails with nail polish on them is just stutarded. I haven’t bitten my hands since and that was over 20 years ago.

The OCD: Turning In Full Circles

If I turn in a full circle I don’t feel right. This one still continues but I can go about my day fine. There was an episode of Radiolab (click here to hear it) where this girl spun and suddenly felt lost and that the world had changed. That’s how it feels when I spin but only if I pay attention to it. It just feels like things are…off.

The Solution

Haven’t found one yet. Like I said, its not something that bothers me the way that it did when I was little. I don’t look around like “Holy shit, where am I?!” After a few moments my brain adjusts and I’m good again. Well, as good as someone like me can be.